Kunal RaoOvjeren akaunt

@kunalrao

Philosoraptor | Insta: kunalrao | Bookings: | Amazon Prime Video Stand Up Special "Done" - OUT NOW

Mumbai
Vrijeme pridruživanja: siječanj 2009.

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  1. Cars in the mall parking area move like sharks around their prey

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  3. People ask if I get nervous before shows. Yes. I don’t just get butterflies in my stomach. The butterflies fly in formation. And migrate like geese from one set of nerves to the other.

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  4. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 15 sati
    Odgovor korisniku/ci

    I’d say can you let enough shit go to be attractive when you’re old

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  5. I wonder if stray dogs are able to live up to their parents’ expectations. “Son, I want you to expand the family’s territory. Look, Simba! Everything the piss touches is our kingdom!”

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  6. Yes, youth is attractive. But can you keep your shit together long enough to be attractive when you’re old?

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  7. Could we take a second to appreciate the irony that Dua Lipa censored the F word in her Mumbai gig, while singing a song called “IDGAF”? Not quite true to the song now, are you?

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  8. 4. velj

    My life goal is to look without make-up the way I feel with make-up.

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  9. 4. velj

    The updated Need Hierarchy that every millennial needs to read.

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  10. 4. velj

    Some things dont change no matter which country you're tryna do comedy in

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  11. 4. velj

    It feels good to live the American dream even though we're in India.

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  12. 4. velj

    This dude just triple-parked his car, created a traffic jam, and comfortably walked into the temple opposite to pray. “Lord, why do you not give me what I want? I am such a good person and I care about everyone.” Ok then.

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  13. 3. velj

    Beat a kid up and he’ll hate you for a day. Mess him up psychologically and he’ll hate himself for a lifetime.

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  14. 3. velj

    I'm a month into 2020 and haven't finished a single book. What is this bullshit?

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  15. 3. velj

    We are attracted to people with perfectly white teeth because our instincts recognise that they have never eaten a thing in their life and will therefore be low maintenance partners.

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  16. 3. velj

    It’s only creepy to sit alone at a restaurant if you are not looking at your phone.

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  17. 3. velj

    There’s a difference between knowing the steps and being a good dancer. Knowing is enough to have fun.

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  18. 3. velj

    People look better in sunglasses mostly because half their face is covered.

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  19. 3. velj

    Ever seen a mosquito so big that you dont want to kill it with your hands lest you cut yourself?

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  20. 2. velj

    Because of his history, Djoko always plays percentage tennis in the fifth set. Thiem needs push for the lines!

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