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kumailn's profile
Kumail Nanjiani
Kumail Nanjiani
Kumail Nanjiani
Verified account
@kumailn

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Kumail NanjianiVerified account

@kumailn

My new movie The Big Sick is on Amazon, iTunes, Blu ray, all the streamings. Get to it!

Los Angeles
Joined April 2009

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    Kumail Nanjiani‏Verified account @kumailn Jan 3

    Man sexually assaults women in high school: “That was so long ago!” Woman dances in high school: “We must set her ablaze.”

    11:21 am - 3 Jan 2019
    • 13,871 Retweets
    • 89,462 Likes
    • Josef Harney Lola So Phil Hou Melissa Dustbin victoria road Alex Maldonado ❄️ sonnatora ❄️ Lynn Otto
    446 replies . 13,871 retweets 89,462 likes
      1. Kumail Nanjiani‏Verified account @kumailn Jan 3

        To everyone responding angrily with “This was in college!”: you’re right. You can stop correcting me now. I apologize for this unforgivable infraction. I shall be self-reporting for the ritual of the red death at first dawn. May the example of my untimely demise serve as warning.

        148 replies . 259 retweets 14,068 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Jed Banta‏ @jed_b Jan 3
        Replying to @kumailn @KevinMKruse

        HER HIPS ARE MOVING AND IT'S DESTROYING THIS COMMUNITY!

        5 replies . 30 retweets 774 likes
      3. Aspiring Urban Farmer‏ @jmerkovich Jan 3
        Replying to @jed_b @Nullthread and

        This is INDISPUTABLE proof that she is working with @IlhanMN to institute Shakira Law!😂

        17 replies . 45 retweets 999 likes
      4. Jed Banta‏ @jed_b Jan 3
        Replying to @jmerkovich @Nullthread and

        You're right, those hips are NOT lying!

        1 reply . 4 retweets 259 likes
      5. 1 more reply
      1. New conversation
      2. Nipple of Ambiguous Presentation‏ @0utofBeta Jan 3
        Replying to @kumailn

        They'd be okay with it if she had a calendar that showed she was dancing with Tobin and Squi

        6 replies . 22 retweets 977 likes
      3. Tobin Richmond‏ @TobinRichmond Jan 3
        Replying to @0utofBeta @kumailn

        Don’t drag me into this 😒

        1 reply . 1 retweet 387 likes
      4. Dan Kan‏ @dkan1030 Jan 3
        Replying to @TobinRichmond @0utofBeta

        pic.twitter.com/GFYlaTRzyE

        0 replies . 1 retweet 79 likes
      5. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Chris Smith‏ @clindseysmith Jan 3
        Replying to @kumailn

        But there's *video* of her dancing. If there had been video of him sexually assaulting women then it would have been differ... actually never mind. It would have been exactly the same.

        4 replies . 8 retweets 479 likes
      3. anxiously audacious‏ @anxioudacity Jan 3
        Replying to @clindseysmith @kumailn

        Or some sort of audio of him bragging about it.

        2 replies . 3 retweets 210 likes
      4. MayoG‏ @Elmayochido 21h21 hours ago
        Replying to @anxioudacity @clindseysmith @kumailn

        Or a calendar...

        1 reply . 0 retweets 10 likes
      5. Ragamuffin Targaryan‏ @KicksAndSports 21h21 hours ago
        Replying to @Elmayochido @anxioudacity and

        Really, who among us hasn't boofed someone during The Devil's Triangle?

        1 reply . 0 retweets 7 likes
      6. MayoG‏ @Elmayochido 20h20 hours ago
        Replying to @KicksAndSports @anxioudacity @clindseysmith

        pic.twitter.com/peY1roCkIE

        0 replies . 0 retweets 10 likes
      7. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Communist Rooftop Dancer‏ @maddsurgeon Jan 3
        Replying to @kumailn

        Look, I’m against dancing but this isn’t a credible allegation of dancing. Can you remember the address where the alleged dancing occurred? Do you really expect me to believe she just walked home after being tired from all that dancing? And why didn’t you report it at the time?

        4 replies . 18 retweets 433 likes
      3. Felicia Stewart‏ @feliciab86 Jan 3
        Replying to @maddsurgeon @kumailn

        That tweet + 5 as your pic earns you a follow!

        1 reply . 0 retweets 35 likes
      4. Communist Rooftop Dancer‏ @maddsurgeon Jan 3
        Replying to @feliciab86 @kumailn

        Exasperated Fifth Doctor is best Fifth Doctor.

        0 replies . 0 retweets 36 likes
      5. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Dustin Pierce‏ @EveryDayIsDDay Jan 3
        Replying to @kumailn

        59-year old admits to infidelity and sexual assault on tape: “But that was over a decade ago!”

        3 replies . 24 retweets 593 likes
      3. Tom Boston‏ @TomBoston5 Jan 3
        Replying to @EveryDayIsDDay @kumailn

        "locker room talk"

        1 reply . 2 retweets 90 likes
      4. 1 more reply
      1. New conversation
      2. stupid and juvenile‏ @edwardmberryesq Jan 3
        Replying to @kumailn

        To be fair to them, @SenWarren also drank a beer on Instagram. Clearly the Democratic Party is off the rails.

        2 replies . 7 retweets 128 likes
      3. Communist Rooftop Dancer‏ @maddsurgeon Jan 3
        Replying to @edwardmberryesq @kumailn @SenWarren

        I kinda feel like Warren was trying too hard, tbf, but trying too hard is not a national crisis.

        3 replies . 1 retweet 29 likes
      4. Uggy Muffins‏ @irishanime Jan 3
        Replying to @maddsurgeon @edwardmberryesq and

        Better than the current guys who don't try at all.

        1 reply . 1 retweet 65 likes
      5. Chives Mcsleeve‏ @mcsleeve Jan 3
        Replying to @irishanime @Charles96137855 and

        I stopped trying because I found it futile. I'm dying alone anyway

        1 reply . 0 retweets 3 likes
      6. Communist Rooftop Dancer‏ @maddsurgeon Jan 3
        Replying to @mcsleeve @irishanime and

        You’re... running for President? I think you might be on the wrong thread tbh.

        1 reply . 0 retweets 1 like
      7. 1 more reply

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