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Krud™
@Krud
These tweets were processed in a facility that also handles the truth.
The Lesser Chicagoland AreaJoined August 2008
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1,304 Followers

Krud™’s Tweets

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Krud™
@Krud
[Sign above two doors: One guard always lies, the other always tells the truth. You can only ask one guard one question.] Adventurer: *walks up to guard* "Ahem. Which door would the other guard tell me is safe to walk through?" Guard: "I do not recall." Adventurer: "...shit."
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Krud™
@Krud
So, here's the thing... despite what the Oscars would have us believe, not every movie needs to compete with every other movie. Two movies from the same time period can co-exist without preferring one over the other, especially if one is supernatural and the other is time travel.
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Frank Goodman
@MASKEDMANIACXXX
GHOSTBUSTERS vs. BACK TO THE FUTURE! Which Movie Do You Like Better?
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Krud™
@Krud
Seriously though,
@DisneyPlus
, I know everyone else is jacking up their prices 30%, but that didn't mean you had to get in on it. Is YOUR supply line backed up as well? Big freighters of streaming content still waiting to get unloaded at the port? #Cancelling
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Krud™
@Krud
DisneyPlus: "We're jacking up our prices, but you can get the Hulu an Disney with ads bundle for a decent price -- unless you've already been a customer, in which case %@&$ you."
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Krud™
@Krud
How many times do I have to unsubscribe from a particular mailing list before I can accuse them of harassment? Or is that just not a thing where e-mail is concerned?
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Krud™
@Krud
I've even started applying for "lower qualification" type jobs (telemarketing, warehouse stocking, etc.) at least as a stop-gap measure while I look for something more in my wheelhouse, but those aren't calling me back either. Perhaps they think my age means I would be difficult?
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Krud™
@Krud
It's humbling to have gone from "quickly getting job offers by nearly every company I applied to" in my twenties to "slowly getting rejection form emails from every company I applied to" in my forties.
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Krud™
@Krud
Y'know how you sometimes see trivia like "Marty McFly was almost played by Eric Stoltz," and you think, "Wow, glad THAT didn't happen!" But then you wonder, "Then again, what WOUD that have been like?" Well, now we'll all get to see the alternate history "The Witcher" casting.
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PC Gamer
@pcgamer
Maybe Liam Hemsworth will be better in The Witcher than we think. trib.al/szqFDVd
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Krud™
@Krud
Hot take about Paywall Twitter: I still enjoy Twitter just enough to continue using it and letting it advertise at me. I do not enjoy it enough to pay to do so.
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Krud™
@Krud
Juice guy: "I can make juice out of anything!" Dried fruit guy: "Not if I take the juice out first." Juice guy: "Challenge accepted." *invents prune juice*
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Krud™
@Krud
Trying to make Twitter the "most accurate source of information about the world" makes about as much sense as trying to make Facebook the "most popular virtual hangout for the Gen-Z crowd."
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Krud™
@Krud
Quote from someone I'm not pretending to be: "Going forward, any Twitter handles engaging in impersonation without clearly specifying “parody” will be permanently suspended." Disclaimer: the following image is a GIF "parody" of Théoden and not the actual physical king of Rohan.
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Krud™
@Krud
IIRC, police reports are the things that are filled out offscreen and only referenced conversationally, i.e., "Why wasn't this mentioned in your police report?" So my question is, is there a place where you can see samples of police reports, without it being weird and creepy?
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Krud™
@Krud
Today a writing prompt asked that I write a story in the style of a police report. Only problem is, I have almost NO idea what a police report actually is like. I don't watch a ton of police procedurals, at least not ones that don't involve either Nathan Fillion or Tony Shalhoub.
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Krud™
@Krud
(To be even clearer, this was not an issue of entitled impatience on our part; we stood and waited nearly an hour while everyone else waiting came and went. The management was understanding and compensated my sister, but the time lost with out-of-town relatives is irreplaceable.)
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Krud™
@Krud
Never thought I'd have to write a negative review for Portillo's of all places, but I guess there's a first for everything. (To be clear, the issues were eventually, mostly resolved, but the amount of effort needed to get that done was beyond what it should've been. So, 2 stars.)
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Krud™
@Krud
Dear ZipRecruiter: Spas and Fitness Centers do NOT want a pasty middle-aged bearded dude to be the first person they see when they walk in. They just don't. But thanks for offering, I guess?
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Krud™
@Krud
An article included "Red Notice" on a list of the "Thirty Worst Movies Of All Time," and I can only conclude that the author hasn't seen a ton of movies. Not one mention of North or Son of The Mask.
Krud™
@Krud
Email from my tax preparer site: "Notice: your 2020 tax return conversion." . o O (My WHAT?!) *frantic scramble to find out what's going on* Turns out they're just letting me know it'll be converted to a PDF. =T
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Krud™
@Krud
I'd rather not overstate my abilities to a prospective employer; I would much rather places know what they can expect from me, rather than promise something I possibly can't deliver on.
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Krud™
@Krud
Advice someone gave me: "Don't be modest on your resume'. They assume everyone exaggerates, so if you downplay your skills and knowledge, they're going to assume you're even worse than you claim." Even if this is true, I find it both sad and annoying.
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Krud™
@Krud
Ever remember an idea you had, so you start to flesh out said idea, then partway through you think, "Wait... WAS this an idea I had? Or was it an idea that I'd heard someone else mention?" But you move forward anyway and hope no one accuses you of stealing their idea?
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Krud™
@Krud
Credit Karma: "Look at how much you can borrow based on your score!" The Fed:
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Krud™
@Krud
The difficulty of keeping stories with the constraints of Flash Fiction length reminds me of this alleged Mark Twain quote: “I didn't have time to write you a short letter, so I wrote you a long one.”
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Krud™
@Krud
Tried to make vegetable fried rice for the first time ever tonight. Didn't turn out as well as I'd hoped. In fact, I've had better fried rice at places where I complained about the quality of their fried rice, even asking, "How does one screw up fried rice?" NOW I KNOW HOW.
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