Kristen SchaalVerified account

@kristenschaaled

Comedian, actress, writer.

New York
Joined April 2010
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  1. Retweeted
    5 hours ago

    My opponent is refusing to debate me because I’m “not a serious candidate.” As a challenger, we’ve been endorsed by , which he—a 15-year incumbent—has failed to receive, because he doesn’t stand with our workers. Our people are waiting, . Debate me.

    "The 240,000 members of the Texas AFL-CIO stated that we are going to stand proudly with in her race for Congress." - President
    80 replies 876 retweets 4,458 likes
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  2. Jan 24

    Thank you for all the birthday wishes! And happy birthday to everyone right back! xoxox

    68 replies 8 retweets 658 likes
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  3. Jan 24

    I will do it for infinity more friend!

    Happy birthday ! Thanks for doing this with me for 15 years.
    8 replies 1 retweet 109 likes
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  4. Jan 23

    This is probably better than anything I've written in a coffee shop.

    6 replies 9 retweets 46 likes
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  5. Jan 22

    Vote them out!

    Like the president, GOP Senators believe the rules aren't meant for them. They're for those other suckers.
    6 replies 15 retweets 293 likes
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  6. Jan 22

    Back to my favorite. What happens to Mike and his girlfriend?

    12 replies 65 likes
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  7. Jan 22

    If you're having trouble getting in touch with your emotions might I suggest spending the day with a toddler? You will feel ALL OF IT.

    28 replies 41 retweets 952 likes
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  8. Jan 22

    I just love so much.

    16 replies 1 retweet 97 likes
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  9. Retweeted
    Jan 22

    Vets and military families, please tell us how you feel about the saying traumatic brain injury isn’t serious?

    1:01
    When asked about the 11 U.S. servicemen injured in the Iran airstrikes, President Trump told he didn't "consider them serious injuries relative to other injuries I've seen."
    1,575 replies 6,850 retweets 13,027 likes
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  10. Jan 22

    Excited!

    Support campaign for City Council District 4. January 29th at w/ & more! Tix:
    28 likes
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  11. Retweeted
    Jan 21

    One year from today, the next president will begin her first full day of work. She’ll inherit a government in crisis, infected by corruption, and will need the expertise and drive to rebuild it and ensure it works for the people. I've got a plan for that.

    4,417 replies 5,847 retweets 27,995 likes
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  12. Jan 21

    Which clarified what rape means in the animal kingdom, come on Maggie watch till the next beat, jeez.

    An otter rape joke.
    11 replies 8 retweets 351 likes
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  13. Retweeted
    Jan 21

    I thought everyone wanted my authentic, unvarnished views! But to be serious, the number one priority for our country and world is retiring Trump, and, as I always have, I will do whatever I can to support our nominee.

    38,074 replies 21,065 retweets 171,931 likes
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  14. Retweeted
    Jan 21

    A trial without all of the evidence isn't a trial – it's a cover-up.

    1,867 replies 13,947 retweets 76,592 likes
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  15. Retweeted
    Jan 21

    The rules Sen. McConnell has proposed for the president's impeachment trial are the equivalent of a head juror colluding with the defendant to cover up a crime. Call your senators and urge them to push for witnesses and evidence, not a cover-up:

    JUST IN: Full text of Senate proposal for impeachment trial procedures.
    Show this thread
    11,838 replies 19,591 retweets 61,194 likes
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  16. Retweeted
    Jan 21

    When you realize hits theaters THIS YEAR! 🎸⚡️

    126 replies 1,053 retweets 6,766 likes
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  17. Jan 21

    She’s mine too! This is a wonderful thread.

    I love my friends who are with Bernie & I love & will support him (or whomever) of course of course. But Warren has always been my candidate and I don’t feel like being shy about it. F. Leonard makes the case & I am grateful. I love him & if you disagree I get it. I love you too.
    3 replies 14 retweets 302 likes
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  18. Retweeted
    Jan 20
    Replying to

    Join by texting READY to 644-33. Find a Moms meeting near you by texting EVENTS to 644-33. We have chapters in every state & DC. Non-Moms, singles, Dads, dudes, & gun owners are welcome.

    5 retweets 6 likes
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  19. Jan 20

    These are the people I look up to. They want to make their communities safer for everyone, including the men standing their with military-grade weapons.

    0:17
    Armed insurrectionists descended on Richmond on day to protest gun laws that will save lives in Virginia and mid-Atlantic states. Despite a vocal minority’s extremism, volunteers will stay focused on activism, today and every day.
    10 replies 95 retweets 873 likes
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  20. Jan 20

    Thank you!

    0:17
    Armed insurrectionists descended on Richmond on day to protest gun laws that will save lives in Virginia and mid-Atlantic states. Despite a vocal minority’s extremism, volunteers will stay focused on activism, today and every day.
    1 reply 8 retweets 226 likes
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