Kirsten

@kirstenoid

Comedienne - Scientist - Fancy Person

Montreal
Vrijeme pridruživanja: siječanj 2010.

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  1. Prikvačeni tweet
    30. lis 2017.

    I've been spending 500% more on wishes since pennies have been retired.

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  2. 3. velj

    Nothing reminds me of my discomfort with change as an operating system update

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  3. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    1. velj

    Business studies show there's an increase in TV sales the week before the Super Bowl but has anyone looked into sales of Alphabet Soup leading up to the National Spelling Bee?

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  4. 25. sij

    Gwyneth is full of non-GMO, organic, gluten free baloney but I like her moxie and the smell of her vagina

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  5. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    24. sij

    Feel free to tell me to stick to comedy but first watch this. Thanks.

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  6. 23. sij

    Hillary is treating Bernie like they’re in highschool and someone told Hillary that Bernie is way prettier

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  7. 23. sij

    Hillary hating on Bernie makes me like him more

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  8. 18. sij

    Hands™️ are the original Post-It Notes™️

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  9. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    4. sij

    Similarly I have a 95% approval rating from my parents

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  10. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    366) Finish what you start. Keep your promises. Forgive yourself when you don’t. The greatest teacher, failure is. - Yoda Thank you and GOOD NIGHT!

    Prikaži ovu nit
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  11. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    25. pro 2019.

    A Yam by any other name would taste as sweet.

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  12. 18. pro 2019.

    Carrie Fisher never would have let this happen

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  13. 2. pro 2019.

    Are sloths really patient or do they just not give a shit?

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  14. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    The last place someone should go to feel less triggered is a comedy club. It is not supposed to be a, “safe space”. That’s like going to a packed bar to feel less anxious. There are many places a person can go to make them feel calmer, for example, a botanical garden or heaven.

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  15. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    *puppet lemur gives childishly naive hot take on wildlife* OK Zaboomafoomer.

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  16. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    Articles of impeachment? Boy's crimes so big, more like articles of imwatermelonmemt.

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  17. 27. stu 2019.

    In my day watermelons had seeds, you could buy five candies for a nickel and suggesting personal accountability wasn’t tantamount to joining the oppressors! 👵

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  18. 6. stu 2019.

    Hey, T.I.! There’s no hymen in the butthole. Christians found that loophole years ago...

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  19. proslijedio/la je Tweet
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  20. 18. lis 2019.

    I thought I couldn’t adore more, but then I found out he loves Costco

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  21. 28. ruj 2019.

    Hey ! I think everyone would love to meet

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