Jackson Royal

@KingCockfight

Writer. Satirist. Southernist. Find a new planet. Make the same mistakes.

ajacksonroyal@gmail.com
medium.com/@jacksonroyal
Joined June 2009
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  2. 33 minutes ago

    [Roy Moore desperately begins scribbling an administrative order.]

    Overheard in newsroom: "What's the Alabama state flower?" "The camellia, but it's not indigenous." "Neither are white people." :
    1 like
  3. 2 hours ago

    Wrote about Wallet Gate and suggested Dr Guv keep up the aviation-themed scandal

    8:16 AM - 14 Apr 2016 · Details
    1 retweet 1 like
  6. 15 hours ago

    he needed to buy more minutes on that prepay phone.

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    1 retweet 2 likes
  7. 16 hours ago

    In Alabama, even our robot butlers are white.

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    1 retweet 2 likes
  8. In reply to
    16 hours ago

    . The utter essence of depravity

    6:11 PM - 13 Apr 2016 · Details
    1 like
  9. 16 hours ago

    Of course, my question is why the fuck does the governor need a wallet anyways? And that badly?

  10. 16 hours ago

    "Y'all find out soon enough once the Medicaid cuts go through. Y'all all be wantin a ride on the Alabama Health Hangglider."

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    1 retweet
  11. 16 hours ago

    "Shit, man my age needs to get onna handglider once in a while. Wakes me up. Cheaper than going to the doctor, and I'm a doctor"

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  12. 16 hours ago

    If I'm Bentley, I just steer into the aviation fetish. "Yeah, I had em copter me my wallet. Had em air balloon my glasses too."

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    1 like
  13. 16 hours ago

    1. Does Alabama own any drones? 2. Do I want to know what did with the drones?

    After marital fight, Gov. Robert Bentley had law enforcement fetch wallet with state helicopter
    3 retweets 4 likes
  14. 16 hours ago

    Applaud the consistency. Somedays I can't figure out how to avoid fucking up my relationships. Bentley just has to take a train

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  15. 17 hours ago

    TFW you wanna have sex on the Alabama Sex Plane but you leave your rubbers on the Alabama Wallet Copter

    5:28 PM - 13 Apr 2016 · Details
    1 retweet 8 likes
  16. 17 hours ago

    Maybe he didn't have anything indistinct and useless to say.

    Bentley left Huntsville speech without talking to media. Highly unusual for him to do that. Always meets w/ media after speech.
    2 likes
  17. Apr 12

    All 4 readers will enjoy it before they're run into a ditch by a Phil Campbell mom desperate to get to Haleyville Guthrie's before it closes

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    4 likes
  18. Apr 12

    I could do a whole piece of Shoals/Northwest Alabama dumb driving stories, and I'm terrified because it might have to happen.

  19. In reply to
    Apr 12

    . Also, I once got honked at using the signal and slowing down before turning into the Dairy Queen in Russellville

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