You’re 9 years old. You attend ballet camp. Someone tells you that another girl *hates* you. She thinks your eyes are an “ugly shape.” You don’t have the vocabulary to describe why that’s hurtful. But now, you hate your distinctly Asian face. You don’t want to be Chinese anymore.
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You’re 16 years old. It’s Halloween & 2 students come to class dressed as “Asian tourists.” They’ve taped their eyes back, strapped cameras around their necks and chucked up peace signs. You feel uncomfortable. When a teacher asks if you find the costumes offensive, you say no.
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You don’t want people thinking you’re uptight. You laugh along with everyone else. You don’t want to be Chinese anymore.
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You’re 17 years old. You’re off to college & you meet other Asians. They have pride that you never had. You meet a boy & he wonders why you don’t speak your family’s tongue. Why your favorite food is grilled cheese, not xiao long bao. You say your family doesn’t live that way.
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But you know you rejected your culture a long time ago. You know you refused to speak Chinese & you remember calling your mother’s food “disgusting.” It’s fucked. It clicks. It’s a race to reclaim everything you’ve hated about yourself. For the 1st time, you want to be Chinese.
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You’re 20 years old. You’ve spent the past several years repatriating yourself. You get your family’s name inked into your skin. That character is there forever. You won’t let anyone make you feel the way you did all those years ago. You love being Chinese.
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You’re 25 years old. You see a movie with an all-asian cast at a screening and for some reason you’re crying and you can’t stop. You’ve never seen a cast like this in Hollywood. Everyone is beautiful. You’re so happy you’re Chinese.
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A painful but beautiful thread
@kimmythepooh . Hopefully one fine day, differences of all kinds could embraced and celebrated.Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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This tread made me straight up cry. It is so hurtful to see how young kids distant themselves from their roots because of western culture/opinions/stereotypes that were forced on us and formed us to the people we are today. This made me realize i should embrace my thai heritage.
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When the majority of your childhood every association with Thailand is in content of lady boys, hookers and poverty you get painted a wrong picture of a culture these people don’t know ANYTHING about.
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