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I haven't laughed this much since I thought a praying mantis was trying to kill me.
When you're in an artist's house: "Can I touch things, or is it like a museum?"
We're just two girls eating donuts, drinking tea, watching The Notebook, and contemplating what life really means.
"You're freaking out the freaks this morning."
Both my ears feel like they need to pop. Is this what happens when your head is about to explode?
"I would touch a friend like that." "You see, I wouldn't. It's confusing." @erinmcgown
Just fell in love with a dog. Quick, how do I befriend his owner?
"How could I not have developed a deep appreciation for the absurdities amid the gravity of our existence?" Norman Lear
Remember when you had to memorize all of your friend's phone numbers? Our children will never have to do that. Assholes.
Found a new freckle so I can already count this day a win.
"I know nice. I can do nice all day. But I also know language and I know what you're saying even when you don't."
Also I ate two dinners tonight like a champion.
Sometimes you sing 90s music at midnight in the middle of a restaurant with people you love and it reminds you that it's all good.
Friend sent me one of my favorite writer's email addresses as a torture device and a test in self control. Good thing I'm afraid of failing.
im a 21 year old female who wants u to like me but not too badly where i wont openly make fun of you on any social forum.
"There's truth in jest so I mean everything I say. My son's an asshole but if I loved him any more heart would burst." - A mom
It's 90s r&b night at this bar and I've fallen in love with my friend's mother who curses like a sailor. We're soulmates. We're dancing.
How do you give your laptop CPR?
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