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Well in dog beers I've only had two beers.
Henry Winkler just held the door open for me.
Me: "Oh look i have a voice mail." Voice Mail: "Fuck you!"
I don't trust people who drink decaf. They aren't human.
I just lost the game.
7 of the top 15 national banks hit by cyberattack. Time to call PNC about my "missing" money.
You gave a 9 year old an Uzi? #naturalselection
Bellbrook Chipotle is just like a regular Chipotle. The only difference is they make you wait 4x longer for your food so you want it more.
It's a pleasant 92degrees in the restroom at work. A mighty refreshing shit sauna.
I should start taking vacations to places I hate. So when I come back to work, it's not so bad. #underemployed
I just earned the 'Pale as the Moon (Level 5)' badge on @untappd! http://untpd.it/s/b24244703
I just earned the 'I Believe in IPA! (Level 9)' badge on @untappd! http://untpd.it/s/b24244672 #ibelieveinIPA
I just earned the 'Lager Jack (Level 2)' badge on @untappd! http://untpd.it/s/b24244628
That there is one damn fine coat you're wearin' #sincity
The ending to Lost pisses me off more and more every time I think about it.
Get educational updates and speak directly with Forex Trader Navin Prithyani.
Taylor Swift dances like she owns 4 or more cats #vmas
Turtles movie was pretty awesome.
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