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  1. Fruits and vegetables aren’t for a snack, I’ll tell you that much

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  2. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    30. sij

    I LOVE Monty Python! He is SO FUNNY! I used to watch him in the waiting room while my mom and dad went to marriage counseling, every week!

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  3. 3. velj

    The luge. Yeah, ride down a slide - looks real fuckin hard.

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  4. 2. velj

    I hope diesel starts getting used in normal cars so we can get the benefits of deisel.

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  5. 1. velj

    mcdonalds is bringing the old cups back!!!!!!!!!!

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  6. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    31. sij

    Weirdest thing about guns in the Kentucky Capitol: if you have one, you’re told to walk around the metal detector. Others must pass through and get wanded.

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  7. 31. sij

    I’m grounded for spending a bicentennial quarter on a cosmic brownie at lunch today

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    Have you ever received an unexpected medical bill?

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  9. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    31. sij

    the weather channel is a bunch of hucksters trying to fool you into thinking that the weather is bad so they can charge you money for coats

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  10. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    3. sij

    & the 20's keep on rollin'

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  11. 31. sij

    today I put the ATM in French language mode as a challenge and accidentally took out a $25,000 high-interest loan

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  12. 31. sij

    I never forget a name. Mine

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    sorry if a bernie supporter said "pee pee poo poo" to you in your mentions one time but I spent tonight itemizing $7,319 worth of unreimbursed medical/dental expenses in 2019 so I won't have a pay a penalty on cashing out a retirement account to pay for... medical expenses.

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  14. 30. sij

    trying to force myself to eat more limes

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  15. 28. sij

    LOL remind you of anything?... I swear this mouth string stuff my social worker said I need to start using looks exactly like a case for macintosh AirPods

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  16. 28. sij

    at five in the morning I’m pretty sure “can I help u sir” at the cvs is code for “I think you’re stealing”. I said “no ma’am’ just buying this scented candle”

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  17. 28. sij

    Mr Rogers will be like “My good friend Frank is coming over to show us how to butter bread” and then the doorbell rings and he opens it and some little 3 year old kid is standing there with butter and bread

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  18. 28. sij

    the VIP area was cool & everything but I wish they had let some other ppl in besides me.

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  19. 26. sij

    how predictable, another snl guest host, probably just to get people to tune in to see someone famous that they like... rarely, if ever, do we get to see the actual host of SNL.

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  20. 26. sij

    Glad this dude has gotten the name Keaton on YouTube, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat, and now Byte. Congrats bro. You deserve it.

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