Katlyn CarlsonCompte certifié

I remember sobbing when the nurse confirmed it; how my grey t-shirt darkened into wet splotches from the tears streaming down my neck. I remember being repulsed to realize that it wasn’t a hangover that had been making me throw up the week prior, but morning sickness. 2/

I was disgusted with what my body was doing to me. If it’s not obvious, I really, really did not want to be pregnant. Never for a single second did I consider “keeping it.” I’m so grateful that I was raised to know that what I did with my body was my choice, 3/

and making this choice came with ZERO guilt- from myself or my parents or my then-boyfriend. It was the easiest decision I ever made. But that’s not to say it was an altogether easy experience: 4/

The trauma of a medical crisis. Multiple doctors visits- first to confirm I was pregnant; then an ultrasound appointment around three weeks, where I was told it wasn’t far along enough to terminate; then the actual abortion around five weeks. 5/

I was fully anesthetized, so the procedure itself was painless, at least. Days of recovery/bleeding, while waitressing all day and rehearsing a play at night. Around $3,000 in medical bills. I guess my insurance didn’t cover it. 6/

(These facts alone make me laugh in the face of “I’m against abortion when it’s used as birth control” There’s no such thing. Birth control is convenient. Abortion is, at the very least, really fucking inconvenient. Literally NO ONE just casually gets an abortion. FFS.) 7/

I was exhausted and angry but relieved. No guilt. No shame. Relief. My body was mine again. My only regret is that I didn’t ask my ex to help foot the bill. It’s really, really shitty that he never offered. 8/

I hope that in light of this national forced-birth bullshit, he is not staying silent about how MY choice to end the pregnancy that HE caused also benefitted HIM. Dude can’t even go dutch on an abortion? Dude can’t afford a kid. Dude could also Venmo me any time. 9/

Abortion saves lives beyond the obvious when-the-woman-will-die-if-the-pregnancy-continues way. My adult life was just beginning. My career was just beginning. Pregnancy for me at 23 would have ruined my life. This is not up for debate. 10/

I didn’t hesitate for a moment choosing myself over something I was actively trying very, very hard to avoid. Full stop. There’s no way to describe the feeling of violation and helplessness when you’re pregnant and don’t want to be. 11/

Even so, I consider myself lucky that in the larger scheme of things, the circumstances around my abortion were not exceptionally difficult or traumatic. Stressful but manageable. It was a medical issue for which I was fortunate enough to receive care. 12/

Shame on anyone who would have denied me that. My heart breaks and my blood boils for the women- and 11 YEAR OLDS- who will be forced to carry a pregnancy they do not want, for any reason; whose lives will be derailed by a pregnancy they do not want, for any reason; 13/

who will be forced to give birth to an unviable fetus; who will die from a pregnancy their body cannot sustain; who will die trying to end their pregnancy unsafely; who will be accused of murder when they miscarry; 14/

who will have no recourse when they are raped and impregnated by a relative... my god, the barbarism of this Christian theocracy. How dare you. How dare you. 15/

A person’s reason for getting an abortion is no one’s business but their own. It should be safe and accessible regardless of why. But when the reason is as obvious as rape/incest and you criminalize that abortion, you are truly a monster. 16/

My abortion was normal. Abortion is normal. It sucks to need one, but it’s NORMAL. A CHILD BEING FORCED TO CARRY HER RAPIST’S BABY IS NOT. #youknowme. And I will not watch us lose our bodily autonomy without a goddamn fight. 17/