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  2. Ate bacon and chocolate for dinner; will be asleep before the sun goes down: my personalized Fourth of July

  3. If any PR firms want to establish a division focused on basic literacy so celeb clients seem less absurdly imbecilic on social media, I'm in

  4. The professionalization of public relations, which is Tom Cruise's fault

  5. The "pretty filter" on Snapchat makes me look like I have corneal edema

  6. Took a travel-related anti-anxiety on no food and have been biblically engrossed in Us Weekly for about two hours

  7. ✨ You're welcome ✨to the dude who will forever have my voice snotting "WHY are people recording this" on his fireworks video

  8. "Your hair makes you look like a young Samantha Firestone." He actually meant "Mathis"?!?!

  9. My diploma was just mailed to me, and my name is spelled wrong, unless the random "e" after "Kathryn" is a new way to formally indicate "MA"

  10. Find pop culture's "cool sex danger" pose VERY corny corni corné (and limiting) but Rihanna's "Needed Me" got me pogo-ing around everywhere

  11. Sending a secret communiqué/missive/dispatch today via

  12. What if it is in my self-interest to find a way NOT to be very tender?

  13. If I die in the next two hours before signing my will, please divide my clothes between my sisters, based on what would shade them equally

  14. Meeting my husband and some friends for lunch and to sign our wills, and only have a couple hours to decide who gets my eyeliner collection!

  15. I hate my condo building but the courtyard turns out to be IDEAL for a twilight game of paddle

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