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  1. Mar 9

    i just told my mom i saw a corgi on the street and told her i was too far to photograph it so she told me to pull over and take a picture 😂😂😂

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  2. Mar 5

    a guisado of cow’s small intestines is The Best delicatessen to exist on this planet

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  3. Feb 26

    one of qotsa’s photographer friends just went through my ig story? ok that is fine 🙃

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  4. Feb 26

    when we were broke middle and high schoolers everything was free on the internet now that we have disposable income everything will be for a fee bc

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  5. Feb 26

    i keep reading vero is gonna be subscription oriented some day to make revenue and idk how i feel abt social media platforms charging subscription? that sounds so post millennial but also makes sense that one day we’ll pay for all forms of entertainment

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  6. Feb 9

    please take a moment to cry with me

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  7. Feb 4

    all right folks, the puppy bowl is starting in less than 10min so beware and make last minute calls to ur bookie. the outcome: they’re all good bois and girls yes they r yesh they r

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  8. Jan 27

    yo! i just got my ears washed and it’s like i’m hearing in hd!!!!

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  9. Jan 23

    i think i found it lol! it was on sale too, so good for mikey lmao

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  10. Jan 23

    currently searching asos for mikeys suit, please wait

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  11. Retweeted
    Jan 22

    Internet, listen... I’m a giver. I give and I give. But now I need you. I need 200k retweets to go dance with penguins. Please internet. Please retweet THIS TWEET. Please. A man needs his ‘guins.

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  12. Jan 19

    babies with unibrows are my new favorite genre

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  13. Jan 19

    there’s a baby with a unibow spilling milk all over his onesie before he gets his picture taken without his mom noticing shits about to hit the fan with this lady

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  14. Jan 19

    this passport renewal is taking forever tho and i haven’t eaten anything since last night bc blood tests pls pray i don’t pass out driving later

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  15. Jan 19

    i only have 5 nails painted bc ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ i guess i got cought up doing something else ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ and nobody has noticed yet งツ)ว i went to the doctor’s, blood tests, passport renewal, gotta have lunch and the car washed let’s see if anybody notices

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  16. Jan 16
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  17. Retweeted
    Jan 9

    All four portraits (so far)

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  18. 10 Dec 2017

    i smell beer and carne asada from like 70% of the houses on my street, the other 30% are partying or in the stadium. i don't rly care about the game but i'm sure happy i'm eating this much carne 😋😋😋

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  19. 25 Nov 2017

    this holiday season all i want is for to restock the exploding piñatas sweaters

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  20. 24 Nov 2017
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