Orson Welles on Perfect Strangers.
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Jeremy Woodcock
@jwPencilAndPad
TV writer (, Children Ruin Everything, Roast Battle Canada). Stand-up comedian.
Trivia & crosswords. Piano. Food. Lawn darts maybe, have never tried
Joined January 2009
Jeremy Woodcock’s Tweets
Is there a reason for penguins. Or more just like a treat for us type thing
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You’re laughing? The richest man in the world runs into a wall painted to look like a tunnel and you’re laughing
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Since Twitter is ending, can I reshare my super cut of the Genie from Disneyland making 2008 jokes?
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First time I saw this scene, I fully thought that was his body hitting the floor
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Twitter Blue indefinitely halted after a verified Beach Boys account claimed the theremin sound in the outro of Caroline, No was actually created by leaning a magnetized Etch-a-Sketch against a Leslie speaker, and that Manson was original lyricist for both 409 & Car Crazy Cutie.
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“There’s no magic bullet. Instead there are thousands of answers–at least. You can be one of them if you choose to be.”--this Octavia Butler essay, I come back to all the time. But especially this morning
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Just realized that Flea and Sting are on a first name bassist with one another
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As Eli Lilly grapples with the fallout from the fake verified tweet about free insulin that cratered their stock, something to remember is that insulin was always intended to be cheap and accessible.
The patent for it was sold by its discoverers to U of T for $1 in 1923.
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imo a good name for a line of bathroom candles would be John Wick.
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Imagine how celebrated captain Sully would be if he landed the plane normally at an airport
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Airport announcer: Flight is delayed 30 minutes. The plane sucks :/
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Wee Stan, a short king
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defeating fascism 49.1-48.9 isn't exactly defeating fascism
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bruce springsteen: well, they blew up the chicken man in philly last night
bruce springsteen's friend texting back: ??
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Peter Gabriel is trending so I'll remind people that Radio One once ran a competition with the question "Who is the lead singer of Genesis? Answers on a postcard to Peter Gabriel competition, BBC radio one, London."
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why is it so awkward walking back after u bowI in bowling
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Okay, done. What do I do next?
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Premier , who promised in the 2018 election to maintain the Greenbelt after being caught telling developers he’d open it up, is breaking that promise: protections will be lifted on 7,400 acres
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I know a lot about writing comedy, so I bought a giant, unprofitable shoe store. I fired many employees and decided to charge Stephen King $8 a month to come to my store. Things are going badly and I believe it is the fault of a left-leaning powerful clown in upstate NY.
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When you ask your mom who directed Pulp Fiction:
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When your code works, but you have no idea how
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Ibi est NOVA Scotia?
- Roman-Canadian Mr. Burns
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This wonderful band is one of my biggest pandemic discoveries.
1995 - 2020: had heard the song "Missing" one billion times
2020-22: heard like 10 other albums and all so very nice & good!
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Just thought you’d like to know that Ben and I have made a new Everything But The Girl album. It’ll be out next spring 
@ben_watt
@ebtg
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it’s a shame people still think it’s a Tim Burton’s movie when in reality it was made by Nightmare Before Christmas Director
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Elon Musk trying to win a war of words with Stephen King is like Elon Musk trying to win a war of words with Stephen King.
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I can’t pay Twitter $8 a month to keep my blue checkmark, I’m already paying Bob Newhart 50 bucks a week to use his likeness in my profile picture.
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Candy should be FREE after Halloween! Also before it!
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elon musk’s twitter journey is very jack skellington trying to do christmas
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MARGARET ATWOOD AT HALLOWEEN: "Good turnout today. I've already spotted numerous wolvesman, Frankens stein, draculae, and even more dire — if prosaic — some anonymous killers serii."
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