Jeremy WoodcockVerified account

@jwPencilAndPad

TV writer. Stand-up comedian. Trivia & crosswords. The Beach Boys. Piano. Food. Mostly food actually never mind all the other stuff

Joined January 2009
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  1. Pinned Tweet
    7 May 2020

    Bob Dylan's new guitarist on his first day of recording.

    43 replies 325 retweets 1,899 likes
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  2. 8 hours ago

    Dennis Miller Live ad
    2 replies 14 likes
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  3. 8 hours ago

    If Logan Paul defeats Floyd Mayweather it will be like if Ken Osmond had beat Rocky Marciano.

    3 replies 8 likes
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  4. 9 hours ago

    ??? is the best-kept secret in Hollywood.

    1 reply
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  5. 9 hours ago

    They should make a sequel to The Godfather Part II.

    3 replies 8 likes
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  6. 12 hours ago

    Very aggrayeesive.

    3 likes
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  7. Retweeted
    7 Jun 2019

    doctor: I'm going to take out your appendix me: oh okay *shouts at my belly* YOU HAVE A SUITOR

    7 replies 484 retweets 2,445 likes
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  8. Retweeted
    15 hours ago

    QUIZ: Is Your Life Spiraling Into Chaos or Are Your Glasses Just Dirty?:

    2 replies 63 retweets 446 likes
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  9. 15 hours ago

    tfw you cannot decide what to listen to on Saturday

    i googled "list of every musician"
    1 reply 7 likes
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  10. 15 hours ago

    Google, the company, is worth 498 billion dollars.

    I searched "distance between the earth and sun in miles" and the result was "151.79 million km"
    1 reply 8 likes
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  11. Retweeted
    Jun 4

    Have been trying to figure out what I remind myself of when I interact with people now post quarantine. It’s this

    148 replies 7,625 retweets 48,640 likes
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  12. 18 hours ago

    Ummm I don’t know who needs to hear this, but do NOT watch Weekend at Bernie’s 14. 🤢🤢🤢 Let’s just say he’s been in a tropical climate for a WHILE.

    3 replies 26 likes
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  13. Jun 4

    Check out this wonderful show tonight! Enjoy the great hosting, and the skilled musical performances, and as always the many jokes I write about Serial Joe.

    TODAY IS THE DAY! Tune in at 8 p.m. ET on and for The 2021 JUNO Opening Night Awards Presented by . Watch performances by , , , , and more!
    15 likes
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  14. Jun 4

    SCOTT PILGRIM.

    JOKER. CRUELLA. MALIFICENT. What’s the next villain solo film you’d like to see?
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    12 likes
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  15. Jun 4

    my mom: guess who just got back today? teenage me: them wild-eyed boys that’d been away? my mom: no, your father. why is that always your answer when I ask that?

    10 likes
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  16. Jun 4

    Pyramids and Frisbee

    2 replies 2 likes
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  17. Jun 4

    I’m Usain Bolt. And this is my FasterClass.

    1 retweet 22 likes
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  18. Retweeted
    Jun 4

    You look at how John Goodman just keeps deepening as an actor and a screen presence and you realize how urgently we need him to do a The Color of Money-like sequel where he gets to play an older, wiser Fred Flintstone.

    10 replies 31 retweets 435 likes
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  19. Retweeted
    Jun 4

    Just exchanged nods/hellos with one of the stars of Minari at a grocery store in LA. Didn't mention I was in "The Wrestler" or talk about "craft services" or being "on set." Just a quick respectful exchange between two amazing actors at the top of their game.

    30 replies 29 retweets 1,329 likes
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  20. Jun 4

    At this point my most vivid memory of Friends is when Chandler convinced Joey to change his stage name to Joseph Stalin, who I had not heard of at that point, and me thinking, “I don’t know what’s so funny but that actually does sound better.”

    13 likes
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  21. Jun 4

    PET PEEVE: When I'm out riding in my funkmobile, do people always have to ask me if I'm going to my Soul Shack? I might just be out for a nice drive, headed nowhere in particular! Life is about the journey, not the destination, and that applies to funkmobiles as much as anything.

    2 replies 17 likes
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