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  1. Retweeted
    9 Jul 2013

    Guy's 'The Ring' wake-up on his girlfriend is terrifying

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  2. Retweeted
    15 Feb 2013

    Carnival lets Triumph passengers know they can keep the bathrobe

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  3. 20 Jan 2013

    Sorry my twitter feed got hacked by my ex wife. She's obsessed with refrigerators. No wonder we didn't work out.

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  4. 20 Jan 2013

    Ex wives are like old refrigerators. At first they are amazing and then after a while u realize it's just a refrigerator.

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  5. 15 Dec 2012

    Do you think chickens know that dogs are pets?

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  6. 7 Nov 2012

    Taking a shower sitting down is not relaxing.

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  7. 6 Sep 2012
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  8. Retweeted
    1 Aug 2012

    7 sites you should be wasting time on right now

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  9. 19 Jul 2012

    Hi Justin. Oh hi Justin. What's up? Not much. Cool. See you around.

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  10. Retweeted
    18 May 2012

    Woman divorces husband over Facebook status

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  11. Retweeted
    13 May 2012

    hello

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  12. 15 Mar 2012

    told u that luck would be canceled.

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  13. 12 Mar 2012
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  14. 5 Mar 2012
    Replying to

    those aren't cigs. Badump dump Ching

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  15. Retweeted
    3 Mar 2012

    I don't care how tired you are...if you lay down on the top blanket of a hotel bed you will get pregnant.

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  16. Retweeted
    11 Feb 2012

    This vacant site on Telegraph Rd (Michigan) reminds me of pictures in China. Is anything going here? It's still here.

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  17. 29 Jan 2012
    Replying to

    lately none of your predictions have come through. When are you going to get something right?

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  18. 28 Jan 2012
    Replying to

    are you tripping again?

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  19. 22 Jan 2012
    Replying to

    u love corking

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