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jschauma's profile
Jan Schaumann
Jan Schaumann
Jan Schaumann
@jschauma

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Jan Schaumann

@jschauma

Vell, I'm just zis guy, you know?

New York, NY
netmeister.org
Joined July 2010

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    1. Jan Schaumann‏ @jschauma Jan 24
      • Report Tweet

      42. "Ancient" is a very relative term when it comes to software and protocols. 43. "Obsolete" doesn't mean it's not in use and relied on.

      3 replies 44 retweets 341 likes
      Show this thread
    2. Jan Schaumann‏ @jschauma Jan 24
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      44. The sets of systems online before and after a data center power outage only intersect. Some of the old systems coming online will immediately cause a different outage.

      1 reply 13 retweets 215 likes
      Show this thread
    3. Jan Schaumann‏ @jschauma Jan 24
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      45. Some of your most critical services are kept alive by a handful of people whose job description does not mention those services at all.

      4 replies 106 retweets 615 likes
      Show this thread
    4. Jan Schaumann‏ @jschauma Jan 24
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      46. After the initial "down for everybody or just me ermahgehrd Slack is down" drop, productivity increases linearly throughout the the duration of the outage.

      1 reply 8 retweets 212 likes
      Show this thread
    5. Jan Schaumann‏ @jschauma Jan 24
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      47. You're bound by the CAP theorem much more often than you may think. Halting Problem's a bitch, too. 48. Eventual consistency doesn't help when the system you're debugging hasn't converged yet.

      3 replies 15 retweets 231 likes
      Show this thread
    6. Jan Schaumann‏ @jschauma Jan 24
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      49. The source you're looking at is not the code running in production. 50. strace(1)/ktrace(1) doesn't lie. 51. Unless somebody's been playing LD_PRELOAD games.

      2 replies 21 retweets 338 likes
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    7. Jan Schaumann‏ @jschauma Jan 24
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      52. Schrödinger's Backup -- "The condition of any backup is unknown until a restore is attempted." -- is overly optimistic. 53. There's an xkcd for the precise situation you find yourself in. (There's also one for at least half of these.)

      1 reply 68 retweets 523 likes
      Show this thread
    8. Jan Schaumann‏ @jschauma Jan 24
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      54. At some point in your career you will implement half of kerberos. Poorly.

      5 replies 18 retweets 289 likes
      Show this thread
    9. Jan Schaumann‏ @jschauma Jan 24
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      55. Any sufficiently successful product launch is indistinguishable from a DDoS; any sufficiently advanced user indistinguishable from an attacker. 56. Debugging any sufficiently complex open source product is indistinguishable from reverse engineering a black box.

      6 replies 59 retweets 463 likes
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    10. Jan Schaumann‏ @jschauma Jan 24
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      57. "We've always done it this way." is not a good reason by itself, but there's bound to be one for why. 58. That reason may or may not be valid any longer, however.

      2 replies 40 retweets 294 likes
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      Jan Schaumann‏ @jschauma Jan 24
      • Report Tweet

      59. A junior engineer asking "why" and pointing out the docs don't reflect reality is at least as valuable as the senior engineer working blindly off tribal knowledge.

      7:28 PM - 24 Jan 2020
      • 122 Retweets
      • 595 Likes
      • Keravan kuvernööri Sylvestre Ledru Riku Suomela Valentin Bouiller Maura Gallagher Benjamin McCloskey Erka Koivunen Mike Fragassi Jonathan Young
      2 replies 122 retweets 595 likes
        1. New conversation
        2. Jan Schaumann‏ @jschauma Jan 24
          • Report Tweet

          60. Your herculean efforts to upgrade the OS across your entire fleet completed just in time for the EOL announcement of the version you upgraded to. 61. This phenomenon was first described in Dante's Inferno as the Ninth Circle of Hell, Ring Four, aka RedHat Canto XXXIV.

          4 replies 32 retweets 332 likes
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        3. Jan Schaumann‏ @jschauma Jan 24
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          62. Containers create at least as many problems as they solve. 63. The most ninja move the expert you hired for that third party black box product you rely on is to say "Let me ping the support team".

          2 replies 17 retweets 243 likes
          Show this thread
        4. Jan Schaumann‏ @jschauma Jan 24
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          64. Somewhere, somebody ran into this exact problem, but they never bothered to post a solution. 65. That completely automated solution you set up requires at least three manual steps you didn't document.

          3 replies 36 retweets 383 likes
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        5. Jan Schaumann‏ @jschauma Jan 24
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          66. CAPEX budget always increases, OPEX budget always decreases. 67. CAPEX costs can be reasonably estimated, OPEX costs can only be ballparked.

          2 replies 15 retweets 169 likes
          Show this thread
        6. Jan Schaumann‏ @jschauma Jan 24
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          68. Doubling your time estimate in the hopes of beating expectations won't work because your manager takes your estimate, has a hardy laugh, and then resets it back to what they already promised upchain.

          2 replies 53 retweets 303 likes
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        7. Jan Schaumann‏ @jschauma Jan 24
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          69. Your quarterly planning means bubkes when the next re-org rolls around. 70. Most of your actual work is not covered by your OKRs.

          2 replies 22 retweets 253 likes
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        8. Jan Schaumann‏ @jschauma Jan 24
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          71. Recursively applying the Pareto Principle is a surprisingly accurate way to gauge your low hanging fruit, determine your high impact objectives, and ballpark your required effort. 72. Although, to be honest, it only works in about 80% of cases.

          2 replies 26 retweets 266 likes
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        9. Jan Schaumann‏ @jschauma Jan 24
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          73. Management will always happily spend $$$ on outside consultants to tell them what you've been saying for years. 74. Management will much rather invest in inventing a new, square wheel than fixing an old round one.

          4 replies 65 retweets 376 likes
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        10. Jan Schaumann‏ @jschauma Jan 24
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          75. In any organization practicing continuous integration, half of all commits are to fake out CI tests.

          2 replies 24 retweets 224 likes
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        11. Jan Schaumann‏ @jschauma Jan 24
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          76. Good software development practices do not always translate well to ops and friends. 77. Mandatory code reviews do not automatically improve code quality nor reduce the frequency of incidents.

          2 replies 16 retweets 215 likes
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        12. Jan Schaumann‏ @jschauma Jan 24
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          78. Every new paradigm tends to mostly add layers of abstractions; cutting through them and identifying what basic principles continue to apply is half the battle.

          2 replies 17 retweets 171 likes
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        13. Jan Schaumann‏ @jschauma Jan 24
          • Report Tweet

          79. Real change can only be implemented above layer 7.pic.twitter.com/vQrtYShuP4

          5 replies 81 retweets 399 likes
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        14. Jan Schaumann‏ @jschauma Jan 24
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          80. "Prod" is just another name for "staging". 81. Your source of truth lies. 82. Also: it's incomplete.

          1 reply 36 retweets 307 likes
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        15. Jan Schaumann‏ @jschauma Jan 24
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          83. pcap or it didn't happen.

          4 replies 17 retweets 214 likes
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        16. Jan Schaumann‏ @jschauma Jan 24
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          84. grep(1) > Splunk (there, I said it)

          6 replies 25 retweets 309 likes
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        17. Jan Schaumann‏ @jschauma Jan 24
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          85. Multithreading is rarely worth the added complexity. 86. Parallelism is not Concurrency. 87. Simplicity is King.

          3 replies 23 retweets 244 likes
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        18. Jan Schaumann‏ @jschauma Jan 24
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          ...and finally... 88. Nobody knows what exactly it is you do.

          8 replies 57 retweets 409 likes
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        19. Jan Schaumann‏ @jschauma Jan 24
          • Report Tweet

          This thread as a single HTML page: https://www.netmeister.org/blog/ops-lessons.html … Peace out, nerds!

          21 replies 290 retweets 663 likes
          Show this thread
        20. End of conversation

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