When I describe East Coast vs West Coast culture to my friends I often say "The East Coast is kind but not nice, the West Coast is nice but not kind," and East Coasters immediately get it. West Coasters get mad. 😂😂😂
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Niceness is saying "I'm so sorry you're cold," while kindness may be "Ugh, you've said that five times, here's a sweater!" Kindness is addressing the need, regardless of tone.
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I'm a West Coaster through and through—born and raised in San Francisco, moved to Portland for college, and now live in Seattle. We're nice, but we're not kind. We'll listen to your rant politely, smile, and then never speak to you again. We hit mute in real life. ALOT.
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So often, we West Coasters think that showing *sympathy* or feeling *empathy* is an act of kindness. Sadly, it's really just a nice act.
Kindness is making sure the baby has a hat. (s/o to breenewsome and BlackAmazon)
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I have become a dedicated and obstinate materialist aka “ DOES BABY HAVE HAT “ for reasons like my last retweet. @BreeNewsome talks concrete realities and folks want to talk ephemera
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When you translate this to institutions or policy, you'll see alot of nice words being used, & West Coast liberals/radicals are really good at *sounding* nice. But I've seen organizers & activists from other places get frustrated because nothing happens after ALOT of talk.
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Nothing happens after the pronoun check-ins and the icebreakers. It's rare we make sure that people's immediate needs are addressed. There's no kindness. You have people show up to meetings hungry, or needing rides home, and watching those with means freeze when asked to help.
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As we begin to "get back a sense of normalcy" or "re-calibrate" to what people in Blue States™ think is Right™ and Just™, I want us to keep in mind the difference between Niceness and Kindness. If something sounds nice, doesn't mean that its kind.
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I've been saying this for so long. So happy to see others thinking this as well!
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Saluti, please find the unroll here: When I describe East Coast vs West Coast culture to my friends I often say "The East Coast is kind but not nice, the… threadreaderapp.com/thread/1352363 Share this if you think it's interesting. 🤖
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I first arrived in NYC in 78 via Amtrack. Got out at Penn Station. Scared, everyone had given me so many warnings. I was carrying 3 heavy cardboard boxes, trying to get my bearings, and a young woman my age walked past me averting her eyes and I thought "oh its that bad, 1/
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The East Coast is laid back about being uptight, and the West Coast is uptight about being laid back.
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My high school English teacher described it as East Coasters (although she said NY) say “F*ck you” but mean “Hi! How are you.” West Coasters (though she specifically said LA and this was in LA) say “Hi! How are you?” but mean “f*ck you.” It’s stuck with me.
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Interesting take.
But aren't West coasters all from the East coast?
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As a Californian, I can confirm. People seem to be more upset by the appearance of homeless camps while constantly railing against shelters being put up in their neighborhoods. We can and should do better.
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