When I describe East Coast vs West Coast culture to my friends I often say "The East Coast is kind but not nice, the West Coast is nice but not kind," and East Coasters immediately get it. West Coasters get mad. 😂😂😂
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Niceness is saying "I'm so sorry you're cold," while kindness may be "Ugh, you've said that five times, here's a sweater!" Kindness is addressing the need, regardless of tone.
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I'm a West Coaster through and through—born and raised in San Francisco, moved to Portland for college, and now live in Seattle. We're nice, but we're not kind. We'll listen to your rant politely, smile, and then never speak to you again. We hit mute in real life. ALOT.
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So often, we West Coasters think that showing *sympathy* or feeling *empathy* is an act of kindness. Sadly, it's really just a nice act.
Kindness is making sure the baby has a hat. (s/o to breenewsome and BlackAmazon)
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I have become a dedicated and obstinate materialist aka “ DOES BABY HAVE HAT “ for reasons like my last retweet. @BreeNewsome talks concrete realities and folks want to talk ephemera
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When you translate this to institutions or policy, you'll see alot of nice words being used, & West Coast liberals/radicals are really good at *sounding* nice. But I've seen organizers & activists from other places get frustrated because nothing happens after ALOT of talk.
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Nothing happens after the pronoun check-ins and the icebreakers. It's rare we make sure that people's immediate needs are addressed. There's no kindness. You have people show up to meetings hungry, or needing rides home, and watching those with means freeze when asked to help.
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As we begin to "get back a sense of normalcy" or "re-calibrate" to what people in Blue States™ think is Right™ and Just™, I want us to keep in mind the difference between Niceness and Kindness. If something sounds nice, doesn't mean that its kind.
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I remember, upon first moving to the West Coast, how much trouble I had matching tone in conversation -- I constantly felt like if I spoke, it was too loud and too direct. It may have been the topic, though -- that I was trying to address needs, and others didn't follow.
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sounds like you know the wrong Seattleites 🤷. my community is full of people who make sure our out of work friends have groceries. we run errands for our immunocompromised friends. we get mad because its just more east coast elitism.
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In college, a west coast friend told me, "There are three types of people: Those that make things happen, those that watch things happen, and those that wonder what happened." I've always tried to be the first. As a west coaster, I must sadly concur you are right.
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East coaster. Once got chewed out at a POC-centered even for being insufferably white. They literally burnt sage to cleanse the space of my bullshit.
Then they found out I'd only eaten a granola bar that day. They not only fed me dinner, but drove me the 40 min trip home.
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wow, that would so not be okay in Indian culture.
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I'm sorry but I absolutely disagree. I've had the exact same experience, just going the other direction. I've seen more immediate action to help folks in my communities now in Los Angeles than I ever saw in MA, NJ, or NC (the three East Coast places I've lived).
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My abuser called CPS on me when I finally cut off all contact. They came, determined I was in need as a newly single mama of 5 babies, but since I wasn’t neglecting or abusing the kids they wouldn’t use their resources to get me help. We were literally homeless at the time.
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