When I describe East Coast vs West Coast culture to my friends I often say "The East Coast is kind but not nice, the West Coast is nice but not kind," and East Coasters immediately get it. West Coasters get mad. 😂😂😂
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Niceness is saying "I'm so sorry you're cold," while kindness may be "Ugh, you've said that five times, here's a sweater!" Kindness is addressing the need, regardless of tone.
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I'm a West Coaster through and through—born and raised in San Francisco, moved to Portland for college, and now live in Seattle. We're nice, but we're not kind. We'll listen to your rant politely, smile, and then never speak to you again. We hit mute in real life. ALOT.
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So often, we West Coasters think that showing *sympathy* or feeling *empathy* is an act of kindness. Sadly, it's really just a nice act.
Kindness is making sure the baby has a hat. (s/o to breenewsome and BlackAmazon)
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I have become a dedicated and obstinate materialist aka “ DOES BABY HAVE HAT “ for reasons like my last retweet. @BreeNewsome talks concrete realities and folks want to talk ephemera
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When you translate this to institutions or policy, you'll see alot of nice words being used, & West Coast liberals/radicals are really good at *sounding* nice. But I've seen organizers & activists from other places get frustrated because nothing happens after ALOT of talk.
Nothing happens after the pronoun check-ins and the icebreakers. It's rare we make sure that people's immediate needs are addressed. There's no kindness. You have people show up to meetings hungry, or needing rides home, and watching those with means freeze when asked to help.
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As we begin to "get back a sense of normalcy" or "re-calibrate" to what people in Blue States™ think is Right™ and Just™, I want us to keep in mind the difference between Niceness and Kindness. If something sounds nice, doesn't mean that its kind.
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This 100% captures white liberal politics in Seattle. They are always trying to out-left each other with words and yard signs, but actual equity is never reflected in real policy where wealthy folks might have to give something up.
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There's this hate I have for those in PNW not because anyone is particularly mean, but there's a white politeness. They're the ones that believe they're right but don't listen to real addressing of issue by poc because they believe they're woke. It kills the spirit.
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Kind of explains 's sensibilities. I understand better and appreciate her more after thinking about it this way. She *is* kind.
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People in Seattle and SF are way more concerned with dancing the wokey-pokey and telling everyone how superior they are than actually solving problems.
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Fully agree Not making it sound nice is considered an offense in itself e.g. in the Bay Area. So being nice (The how) is valued just as highly as the what (Being kind).
Oh: And irony is not much appreciated either.
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