When I describe East Coast vs West Coast culture to my friends I often say "The East Coast is kind but not nice, the West Coast is nice but not kind," and East Coasters immediately get it. West Coasters get mad. 😂😂😂
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Niceness is saying "I'm so sorry you're cold," while kindness may be "Ugh, you've said that five times, here's a sweater!" Kindness is addressing the need, regardless of tone.
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I'm a West Coaster through and through—born and raised in San Francisco, moved to Portland for college, and now live in Seattle. We're nice, but we're not kind. We'll listen to your rant politely, smile, and then never speak to you again. We hit mute in real life. ALOT.
So often, we West Coasters think that showing *sympathy* or feeling *empathy* is an act of kindness. Sadly, it's really just a nice act.
Kindness is making sure the baby has a hat. (s/o to breenewsome and BlackAmazon)
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I have become a dedicated and obstinate materialist aka “ DOES BABY HAVE HAT “ for reasons like my last retweet. @BreeNewsome talks concrete realities and folks want to talk ephemera
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When you translate this to institutions or policy, you'll see alot of nice words being used, & West Coast liberals/radicals are really good at *sounding* nice. But I've seen organizers & activists from other places get frustrated because nothing happens after ALOT of talk.
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Nothing happens after the pronoun check-ins and the icebreakers. It's rare we make sure that people's immediate needs are addressed. There's no kindness. You have people show up to meetings hungry, or needing rides home, and watching those with means freeze when asked to help.
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As we begin to "get back a sense of normalcy" or "re-calibrate" to what people in Blue States™ think is Right™ and Just™, I want us to keep in mind the difference between Niceness and Kindness. If something sounds nice, doesn't mean that its kind.
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Been a West Coaster my whole life, but have also spent a lot of time in New York. New Yorkers mind their own business, but once you engage with them they are much friendlier than West Coasters.
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I was just going to say—and Nor Cal folks are going to eat me alive here—I think this is a Nor Cal vs So Cal thing. Everyone thinks LA is shit. But people were so kind and generous to me there (15 years). I’m a midwesterner by birth, but in So Cal there was no fronting.
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You've caught it! The East is much more honest, which is ultimately kind, as we're seeing now w/Pres. Biden. West Coast bs nicey-nice always irritates me. You've got to find the LEFT Coast to get the real goods.
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This was my post-college experience in Seattle. Learn to be honest, y'all. I was raised mainly in the Philly area, and when I left the West Coast I begrudgingly went to FL, but was thrilled to find kindness after three long mostly gray years.
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So true. Me, east coast born & raised, rest of life on west coast. Similar to friendships with NorCal natives - there's a weird superficial relationship beneath which is kind of a void. Hard to get to a deeper friendship, very diff from my experience on east coast.
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