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  1. Pinned Tweet
    Jan 30

    is your child texting about distributed databases? lol: lots of latency smh: scanning main harddisk rofl: raft overloaded; flush logs lmao: latency metrics are ok wtf: writes tardy at flushes tl;dr: transaction lost; dubious result ffs: fast-flush socket

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  2. Retweeted
    Aug 7

    presented without comment

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  3. Retweeted
    Aug 3

    Free Fridays are awesome and Cockroach Labs is hiring. Join us and experience the awesome firsthand.

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  4. Retweeted
    May 17

    After an overwhelmingly positive response, I have decided to launch a Massively Multiplayer Online Roleplaying Spreadsheet called Alex's Sheet. Come on in!:

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  5. Retweeted
    Apr 30

    Your team has been using an ORM for years, it’s easy to add features. Today someone decides to dump the raw SQL and take a look. Roll 3d6 for how many pages it takes to print out the query.

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  6. Retweeted
    Apr 5

    your personality, based on your 1:1 meeting names: A and B: inoffensive but kinda basic A 1:1 B: organized, bit uptight A : B: fair, direct, honest A + B: collaborative, friendly A <> B: kinda intense A x B: cooler than thou A / B: quiet, efficient A 👯‍♀️ B: anxious new grad

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  7. Retweeted
    Apr 3
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  8. Apr 2

    tired: escape rooms wired: battle royales

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  9. Apr 1

    i changed my name to "Brock Chaney" and my shares went up 500% overnight

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  10. Retweeted
    Mar 27

    The arc of my career has taken me: vi -> Eclipse -> IntelliJ -> Excel -> Powerpoint I used to be somebody.

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  11. Retweeted
    Mar 22

    For anyone not listening, CockroachDB engineer Andrei Matei is on today .

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  12. Retweeted
    Mar 17

    Silicon valley hires people at the bottom of maslow's pyramid to pretend to be robots for the people at the top of maslow's pyramid

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  13. Retweeted
    Mar 17

    I hate every single person in this article. They are awful, elitist, out of touch, fools.

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  14. Jan 23

    my new startup idea is "g suite for the c suite". it's basically a reskin of all of the google web sites with leather skeuomorphisms where's my seed round

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  15. Retweeted
    Jan 19

    Why is the rallying cry of yolo developers "move fast and break things" instead of just "Deeeeeeeeploy Jenkins!"

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  16. Retweeted

    I'm fucking losing it at this stackoverflow image

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  17. Retweeted
    27 Sep 2017

    Here's your new MTA subway service dashboard. I haven't played with it yet:

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  18. Retweeted
    30 Aug 2017
    Replying to

    Java's one-monitor-per-object nonsense and recursive locking semantics ruined shared state concurrency for a whole generation of millenials

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  19. Retweeted

    Save your eclipse glasses today instead of throwing them in the trash. Astronomers Without Borders will post mailing address soon.

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