🎶 Get your goddamn shot to-day
Shot today
Shot today
Get your goddamn shot to-day
Don’t be a moron 🎶
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John Zaremba
@johnzaremba
Citizen, vaccine enthusiast
The land of diners and votingJoined April 2009
John Zaremba’s Tweets
Tabloids are beautiful and necessary
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Today's cover: How 21-year-old National Guardsman Jack Teixeira could get sensitive Ukraine docs trib.al/r4WMjeE
One of MANY lessons here: raise your sons or weird Internet forums will do it for you
Today only reminds me how miserable it made us to think and talk about that guy all the time
Is there anything more reliably full of shit than a cooking video on Instagram?
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It’s 8:15 pm ET and sports are on TV. Time to start tweeting random last names to confuse people.
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If you ever want people to think you’re watching sports, just tweet a random last name between the hours of 8 pm and 11 pm.
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You guys are really jumping the gun with the shorts and shirtsleeves this year.
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Closing Time is now officially too old to hang out in college bars
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25 years ago today, "Closing Time” came out and changed our lives forever. We're grateful to all those who helped us make the record, all those who helped it succeed, and all those who came out to see us play.
With love & thanks,
Dan, John, & Jake
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"Experts recommend weightlifting for everyone—it's great for strength, longevity, mental health, sports performance, and self-esteem. But now, everywhere I look online is about two steps away from an Oath Keepers rally."
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every american president, but they're all cool and they all sport a mullet
46. Joe Biden
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"All art is born of its time... People who come to the art later can handle the context, the different words, the different attitudes. People can handle it because we are complex creatures capable of complex thoughts. Censors think everyone is stupid."
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is “no one talking about it” or did a local paper cover it and you didn’t read the story
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On being “woke”—I have daughters who wake me up to this new world everyday. I love it. A man who is 50+ complaining about the woke world has given up on learning. (I look forward to 50% of you approving and the other 50% calling me a one hit wonder who should keep his mouth shut)
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Billy Joel should play the Super Bowl halftime show and just sing “halftime show” to the tune of Uptown Girl the whole time.
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"I married my best friend," gushed the bride, standing next to 6 women who spent $8K apiece to support & celebrate her in that life event.
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A dude growing a mustache that makes him look like a Civil War general is the male equivalent of cutting your bangs
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The biggest decision for any 80s pop song was whether to have a guitar solo or a sax solo, and that decision depended entirely on how busy was that week.
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i’m an abolitionist, but there should be a prison sentence for anyone who ends a friendship this way
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I photographed Brian Walshe, husband of missing Cohasset woman Ana Walshe, seen leaving the police department this morning en route to Quincy court where he was just held on $500,000.00 cash bail. Details @NBC10Boston —> nbcboston.com/news/local/mis
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Incredible level of detail coming out at this arraignment
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BREAKING: Prosecutors say they found blood in the basement of the Cohasset home belonging to missing woman Ana Walshe, and that her husband purchased $450 worth of cleaning supplies the day after she was last seen. Coverage on #WBZ.
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Homemade hummus is great if you like spending the same amount of money and doing all the work for a product that is far inferior
Absolutely brilliant
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It's been a dream of mine to pub something with @hijennieblair, and I guess cheesy children's books + horrific, prolonged illness is where we intersect!
This one's for all the Mamas who've been pulling extra weight these last months:
mcsweeneys.net/articles/excer
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Attn
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Andrew Tate’s Wikipedia has been updated …
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