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A CBC anchor just said, “Someone call Lara Croft!” and you won’t believe what issue they discussed next.
While counting change in the door of a streetcar, my umbrella popped open and coins went flying everywhere like a goddamned cartoon.
I'd be an amazing Sorting Hat if I wasn't such a Hufflepuff.
Leonardo: Gryffindor Donatello: Ravenclaw Michelangelo: Hufflepuff Raphael: Slytherin
Bob the Builder has been hired to fill in the Uncanny Valley.
To Beep, Perchance to Dream from @johnmartz https://medium.com/the-nib/to-beep-perchance-to-dream-f2621c88bdc3 …
The “I had trouble watching this” button on Netflix doesn’t mean what I think it means, does it?
When squandertunity knocks, get to it eventually.
Formatted an old Machine Gum strip for Medium. OK? Y/N https://medium.com/@johnmartz/ok-y-n-5613c543f6b1 …
Bill Watterson is a lousy hermit.
Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world, I feel like I can't take it. *video of plastic bag in the wind* Not this; this is garbage.
How have I lived without knowing the proper way to open a banana: grasp tightly at both ends; squeeze and twist until the insides ooze out.
Editor of Torontoist, City Hall commenter for CBC, civic affairs geek. Summer over winter, hip hop over rock, tomatoes over carrots.
Yes, that's my dog. Yes, I'm a cliche to use that photo. Yes, I started tweeting six years after this account was opened. Is that bad?
Check out @johnmartz's illustrations on Medium's new tech blog, Backchannel! https://medium.com/backchannel/if-nfl-teams-were-tech-companies-ea4827b95b3b …
Or good luck doing shitty jobs for lots of money! Jobs are shitty for plenty of reasons besides money.
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