You have no control over the course of your life. Your body and mind are formed and conditioned from the womb to the tomb. You are compelled by external circumstances to live out your life to the bitter end. You never had any choice. You're a biological puppet.
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I admit that hurting loved ones gives guilt and shame to keep going but at some point you could use your own biology and what you put in your mind to help end yourself. it's easier to die than to live, technically speaking. if no loved ones and no consequences for my death = ez
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