No one needed to sell antinatalism to me, bc I have craved death + dreamt of it since I was a kid... and being told this isn't normal led me to seek out people who validated this was what drew me to antinatalism. Many people don't understand that.
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So, antinatalism means being suicidal?
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Not quiteβ¦ the only solution is to prevent this type of mental suffering from happening by wishing I was never born. Realising I wasnβt the only one who felt this way meant I felt validated.
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Oh, okay... I misread your first sentence, "No one needed to sell antinatalism to me, bc I have craved death + dreamt of it since I was a kid". What you're saying is that you were suicidal and when you discovered AN, you saw it as a preventative measure. Yes?
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Yes. I wasnβt necessarily suicidal but more so wishing I wasnβt part of this world.
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I'm not trying to be picky, but, when someone writes that they "have craved death + dreamt of it since I was a kid", it sounds suicidal to me. But, I'm not on your case... no problem... π
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I was suicidal when I was a kid, but I didnβt attempt until I was 14. Sometimes I am even as an adult. I havenβt been for a while but when I read about futility it triggers me a little.
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I know about your case history. I was merely referring to the line in your OT.
Don't read about futility if it triggers you. AN is more about preventing suffering, right? That's not futile. That's a noble cause.
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I have an entire chapter on futility I need to write for my book so I gotta read about it to get some inspiration. Iβve started reading Cioran + Iβm in love. Maybe I wonβt be so triggered after a while. I need to suck it up a bit.
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Cioran was one of those guys who talked about suicide and death all of the time while raking in money writing books about it until he was 84 years old lol
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Lucky guy. I read the first few pages of his book βA Short Story of Decayβ + I love it.
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Yeah, I got that one