Why were you worried about me? I don't feel okay and I don't feel not okay. I don't know what I feel. There's a chronic state of angst running thru my veins. But, what else is new, right?
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Your tweets from last night. Retelling your whole life story. I thought you werenโt doing okay. Was happy to see you on my TL again. Iโm always here for you if you ever need anything. Iโm grateful to you for everything youโve done for me.
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Yeah, I was like in a trance when I tweeted those things. Thank you so much for your concern. I don't feel like I should burden you with my problems when you have enough of your own. I love talking to you tho. We talk for hours but it goes by so fast. Amazing
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Iโm always here to listen + itโs never a burden for me. I spent almost 2 hours on the phone w one of my best friends in another city w really complicated problems. It helps to get things off peoples chest. Itโs always my honour + pleasure to help high quality ppl in this world.
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Bless you, Sarah. You are my antinatalist soul mate.
Those tweets are simply my past. They actually happened. Nothing can be done to help it. It is shocking, though, that parents can be so oblivious to their own child's pain and suffering, isn't it?
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Every human walking on the face of this earth has so many invisible wounds + deep scars that all lead back to their most formative years. Parents tell us to โget over itโ + society tells us to be โgratefulโ for it. I see it as a hindrance + damage very difficult to reverse.
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I cannot say it any better, my lady. I am a walking, talking wound. A wound time can't erase. I've spent my whole life trying to recover something from my childhood that, in retrospect, probably never existed. Chasing a phantasm.
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Scarring your children for life is inevitable. Even people with good childhoods still have scars in some way bc of events in their earlier years. Being aware of that alone should make people think twice before procreating.
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True that. But what they did to me wasn't accidental. It was downright neglect. Denying a child dental care when their face is swollen in pain and agony... I would not do that even to someone else's child, much less my own... I wouldn't do that to a pet...
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I feel u. If my cat isnโt eating, Iโll take him straight to the vet if he has infected abscess. Iโm happy to pay $160 to make sure he is okay. I canโt understand parents who are like that. Many kids hear walk around barefooted even in winter bc their parents canโt buy them shoes.
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My dad had the money. He just didn't want to help me. Fuckin asshole. And I was slaving for him at his job, with no pay. I shoulda killed him, when I was still a minor. I'd gotten out of lockup in a few years with good behavior.
Replying to
Itโs the narcissism. Most narcissists are either stingy or strategically generous with money + a hidden motive. I remember one of my colleagues told me she ran away from home, went flatting, lied about her age + started working at 14.
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The beatings, the shaming, the guilting, that they laid on me from early childhood on up had me so conflicted and fucked up, I have yet to unravel it. Stockholm Syndrome. Plus, I guess I'm just fuckin weak. I regret I didn't kill them and burn the house down.
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