Same here. I learned as a child to make jokes out of all the pain and suffering I encountered. I still do it. That film Joker resonates with a lot of people on a lot of different levels...
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I used to laugh a lot when I was younger, in my teenage years, when I was with people, friends and families. Those laughs were real and I was truly happy. I guess that has stuck with me as a skin of habit that I can't tear up in front of people.
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Joking is a defense mechanism. It can also be an offense mechanism. Some of the greatest comedians suffered horribly in their personal lives.
I don't know if I have ever been happy. I have to get really stoned to feel even "okay".
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Oh how I wish for some alcohol! Too bad it's not legal here. Tried smoking and surprise: I can't even get addicted to nicotine! What the fuck is wrong with me!
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You have to get in the habit of smoking tobacco before an addiction sets in. I chain smoked for years. Non-smoker, now.
No alcohol? Are you in a Muslim country?
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Yeap.
And I smoked for over 4/5 years, occasionally, when I was feeling really down or sometimes for nothing really, sometimes seasonally. Never actually felt any strong urge to do so as is the case for nicotine addiction. Hell, when I puffed first I didn't even cough!
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My ex-wife was like that. She could smoke cigs like a fiend for a while, and, then, stop. I got addicted to them from hanging out in bars and with alcoholics and had a hell of a time quitting years later. Took me several attempts.
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I usually smoked 2/3 a week. Max was two a day. Haven't smoked for the last couple of months though. It's actually been one sort of distraction I guess, and a rather poor one at that.
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I was smoking 2 packs a day. Maybe three packs, if I went out bar hopping.
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That's quite the amount! Btw I meant 2/3 cigarettes, not packs! 😄
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Yeah, I got that. That's why you never got addicted.