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That film was brutal...

That Kierkagaard quote made me think of the film, as Arthur Fleck would laugh whenever he was in intense emotional distress

I have in that aspect similarity to Arthur Fleck...

Same here. I learned as a child to make jokes out of all the pain and suffering I encountered. I still do it. That film Joker resonates with a lot of people on a lot of different levels...

I used to laugh a lot when I was younger, in my teenage years, when I was with people, friends and families. Those laughs were real and I was truly happy. I guess that has stuck with me as a skin of habit that I can't tear up in front of people.

Joking is a defense mechanism. It can also be an offense mechanism. Some of the greatest comedians suffered horribly in their personal lives. I don't know if I have ever been happy. I have to get really stoned to feel even "okay".

Oh how I wish for some alcohol! Too bad it's not legal here. Tried smoking and surprise: I can't even get addicted to nicotine! What the fuck is wrong with me!

You have to get in the habit of smoking tobacco before an addiction sets in. I chain smoked for years. Non-smoker, now. No alcohol? Are you in a Muslim country?

Yeap. And I smoked for over 4/5 years, occasionally, when I was feeling really down or sometimes for nothing really, sometimes seasonally. Never actually felt any strong urge to do so as is the case for nicotine addiction. Hell, when I puffed first I didn't even cough!

Replying to

6:22 PM · May 31, 2020Twitter Web App

My ex-wife was like that. She could smoke cigs like a fiend for a while, and, then, stop. I got addicted to them from hanging out in bars and with alcoholics and had a hell of a time quitting years later. Took me several attempts.

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I usually smoked 2/3 a week. Max was two a day. Haven't smoked for the last couple of months though. It's actually been one sort of distraction I guess, and a rather poor one at that.