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I went to a social gathering last year... that oughta hold me for another 5 or 10 years... unless somebody dies in the family... then I might have to make another appearance...
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The birth of a child will not do it for me. I am saddened at the birth of a child. I feel sorry for the child. I will lie to get out of going to a wedding. A funeral of a close relative or someone I am fond of will cause me to attend.
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A friend of mine recently got married. Beforehand, I said "Why do you feel the need to get the state involved in your relationship?" "Oh, baby, I'm so in love with you that I think we should get the state involved"... he didn't like that. I also talked about
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