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I feel you. My older brother would beat me unconscious, sliced me with a razor, attack for no reason. My dad would beat on me, whip me with a belt til I had welts all over, blue, red & green welts. Mother was always slapping me & hitting me with blunt objects
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I too feel 4 u both-I was beaten too- my Dad whipped me with a belt-my brother is worse-sneaky, lying, stealing, thriving after younger brother he also screwed - died - gas lighting narcissist-still struggle internally w fighting emotionally with the horror of him in my life
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being born into a violent family is the greatest curse - it takes forever to see through things - to become strong enough to see what's true and not succumb to the insanity ! - to see clearly while everyone is lying about "the joys of the future" takes every ounce of strength
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