Is it grief? I wasn't thinking of it like that. It feels like I'm getting ready to go. It seems to have been triggered when I was tweeting recently about how I almost froze to death one time. I think it rustled up the dead. Now theyre all around me.
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The dreams I'm having are not of the past, they're in the present. I meet the dead in my dreams. I can't remember all of them. The ones last night were most vivid. I wanted to go with her. But she was kind of reticent. As if implying not yet, not yet...
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Yeah. I've been hearing voices. I think they're in my head but I'm not sure. Your poor mother is such a tortured, bewildered soul. I think most pronatalists are fucked up. I don't fear death. But I don't want the dying part of it to go on too long.
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So your knees kept dislocating at all times, huh? Wow, that must have been quite a torture! It's hard enough for elderly citizens. And you were young, only 14!
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Wow, that's serious!
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Damn! That sucks. I know a guy whose daughter is 14 & her knee dislocates all the time. They're talking surgery but the girl doesn't want it. It's so sad to see young children suffer like that. And you and your brother, my God, what torment you must go thru.
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I should exercise more but my depression has been strong lately. The weather has been bitter cold and snowy lately, too, and that doesn't help. I live at the foot of a good size hill. Just hiking to the top & back is a hell of a workout.
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