I went to the BMV today to get my license renewed. Stopped at a store on the way home & bought a chocolate cake with truffles. I've had that dead dog & the ghost of my ex wife on my mind most of the day. I think I might be going insane.
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I can hardly tell the dead from the living, anymore
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I understand that. But what I was trying to say is that the dead seem to have a greater presence in my life than the living, here lately.
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Is it grief? I wasn't thinking of it like that. It feels like I'm getting ready to go. It seems to have been triggered when I was tweeting recently about how I almost froze to death one time. I think it rustled up the dead. Now theyre all around me.
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The dreams I'm having are not of the past, they're in the present. I meet the dead in my dreams. I can't remember all of them. The ones last night were most vivid. I wanted to go with her. But she was kind of reticent. As if implying not yet, not yet...
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Yeah. I've been hearing voices. I think they're in my head but I'm not sure. Your poor mother is such a tortured, bewildered soul. I think most pronatalists are fucked up. I don't fear death. But I don't want the dying part of it to go on too long.
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So your knees kept dislocating at all times, huh? Wow, that must have been quite a torture! It's hard enough for elderly citizens. And you were young, only 14!