I understand where you're coming from. I became antinatalist very young. I could see early on that life was more like a punishment than a "gift".
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I don't know what you mean by needing "misery/sadness to balance an abnormal happiness"?
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I don't know of anyone who suffers from too much happiness. You are the first. It must be horrible to be so happy.
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I cannot remember the last time I was happy. I'm not sure if I ever was happy. I'm not sure even what it is. Whenever I see happy people in public I always get the feeling there is something wrong with them.
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If you feel happy, that's great. Let it be. Dont self sabotage. Jesus, if I was happy, I would try to cultivate it & make it last. I dont even know what it is like. I'm always in this "just try to get thru it" mood. Like doing time in prison.
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On social occasions I can be very congenial and funny and personable. But, yeah, it's just an act; a persona. It's a mask, a cover. I think most of us do that in social settings. We're all actors playing a part...