(1) I'm the kind of guy that just can't feel I deserve to live or to occupy this tiny space that my body happens to occupy. I just can't feel comfortable occupying it. When I am with anyone, I feel sorry for being there with them. I mentally apologize for being there.
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(2) If they show me even the slightest shread of annoyance, I get horrified, feeling terribly responsible for all that, and leave the spot immediately. Most probably no one ever feels uncomfortable being with me.
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(3) But I'm the kind of guy that can't ever feel comfortable with myself, with the idea of existing here. When I am alone, I don't have to feel so terribly responsible. When alone, all I have to feel responsible for is for occupying this space.
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(4) But when I am with anyone, I have to feel responsible not only for occupying this space and living here in this world, but also for being with that person as well. That double guilty conscience is too much. So I feel much better when totally alone.
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(5) When alone, I don't have to worry about anyone's misery. As a human, of course I crave company. But I'd rather be alone than being with someone and being anxious over the possibility that I may be bothering them, even when they happen to like me.
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Every one of the tweets in this thread I can relate to
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(1) Thanks, Antwan. I've known all along that you're that kind of guy. You utter tons of four-letter words and make rather harsh statements to the point where some people feel insulted by you and leave Twitter. But all that is a front.
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(2) You're sensitive inside, very gentle and compassionate. On other sites, I myself often say things that result in making people feel insulted. At the mere sight of a single word that I happen to write, they jump to conclusions, denigrating the whole existence of me and (...)
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