I tried to fast Ramadan once with some Muslims. I couldn't do it. I'm weak. The Shaitan's got a hold on me. I got no iman. I am destined for the jahannam. Antwan the Damned.
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Alhamdulillah, Sister Sarah. I have forgotten a lot. It's been many years. And I have not been keeping up my deen. I don't remember. Ramadan came up & they asked me if I was gonna fast & I tried but it didn't last long. I remember goin to an Arabic restaurant
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...and to break the fast, they would give everyone dates. I enjoyed that, mashallah.
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I liked them. Some lived in the same building where I lived. They got me into it. It was back in the 90's. Islam is like a subculture. It was different. I started studying & learning about it. I just never had any faith. I've tried other religions. Same thing
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I'm a faithless son of a bitch, my friend. I'm no good. In the clutches of the Devil, I tell ya...
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I just can't believe. I don't have any faith. I think when you're dead, you're dead and that's the end. When the synapses stop firing in the brain, it's lights out.
#death
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I don't think I'm on a path to salvation... at all. I think I'm on a path to destruction and total annihilation. I'm pretty sure I am. Aint nobody gettin salvaged, from the looks of it, when this thing is all over and said and done.
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Well, that's nice & I appreciate your kind words but I honestly think I am on the path to extinction. I think we all are. There is no salvation. That's snake oil the clerics want to try to sell you. No one is free. We're all in bondage to these meat suits.
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