Looks like Bart Simpson has gone from prank calling Moe's to writing letters to the editor.
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Jodie van de Wetering
@jodievdw
Neurodivergent writer, performer, ringleader of Remotely Funny online comedy, other shenanigans by appointment.
Jodie van de Wetering’s Tweets
Who cares if the Finnish PM danced. At least she didn’t try to take unilateral control of the government.
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Please. Put it back. I’m begging you. No one read this aloud in the original Akkadian tongue, surrounded by six virgins, with black candles and incense lit under the first full moon in September. We can’t take any more.
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An adorable little Assyrian gold tablet inscribed some 3,300 years ago!
Found beneath the Temple of lštar in Aššur, Iraq, this 1 inch long cuneiform inscription describes its construction and honours the Assyrian king Tukulti-Ninurta.
Vorderasiatisches Museum
#History #Iraq
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Hacker told me he wanted to show #farmers that they could take control of their #tractors with his #hack. & say it highlights big #rightorepair issues #agchatoz
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Something happened at the forum that I can’t shake.
There was a woman with Down syndrome. Maybe thirty, maybe forty, maybe more. Hard to tell.
We talked during the break. Just like disabled folk do. And for a while, that was normal and okay.
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THERE IS NOT AN AUTISM EPIDEMIC! THE INCREASE IN AUTISM DIAGNOSES IS A PRODUCT OF BETTER DIAGNOSTIC CRITERIA, INCREASED SERVICES AND CLOSING THE GENDER AND RACIAL GAP. ANTI-VAXXERS WASTED VALUABLE TIME
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IN PLACE OF A DARK LORD YOU WOULD HAVE A QUEEN! NOT DARK BUT BEAUTIFUL AND TERRIBLE AS THE DAWN! TREACHEROUS AS THE SEAS! STRONGER THAN THE FOUNDATIONS OF THE EARTH! ALL SHALL LOVE ME AND DESPAIR!
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Truly two nations divided by a common language.
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I realise it’s funny to talk about what they call it considering what we call it
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Replying to
I prefer "No One's OK Day", where we all just acknowledge that things really suck.
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Yeah, well the bird thinks you're all big doodoo-heads so nyeh.
*sticks tongue out of beak*
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Royal spoonbill in wetlands next to The Eddie Santagiuliana Way boardwalk recently. We think that this is an immature bird. #spoonbill #wetlands #birding #Queensland
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Replying to
You can start a new religion and then slowly incorporate the split Anglicans. At least that's how it works with mayonnaise.
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Me: Hi Twitter, could you remove the name of a popular children's author from my What's Happening bar? Because I am not interested in this.
TWITTER: OK, done.
ME: Thank you.
TWITTER: You'll never see it again.
ME: Understood.
TWITTER: It's back.
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Inside you, there are two wolves. Inside Mozart there were like eleven or twelve, that's why they called him Wolfgang.
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must have been incredibly distressing for Porter to have someone do something to him without consent
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Scott Morrison secretly appointed himself to Christian Porter’s ministerial portfolio without his consent after the former Attorney-General taught him how to do it @newscomauHQ also kept him in dark about Finance Minister power grab news.com.au/finance/work/l
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Hopefully not a ukulele.
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BREAKING: The instruments by which the then Prime Minister, the Hon Scott Morrison MP, was appointed to portfolios other than the Department of the Prime Minister and Cabinet during 2020 and 2021 @newscomauHQ pmc.gov.au/news-centre/go
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My Uber is here
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One of the great pleasures of parenting is bringing your kids to Art galleries, so they can point at wondrous, abstract representations of the human form and say ‘That’s You’ to each other constantly.
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Bold of you to assume I've got a shred of serotonin going on in the current *gestures around vaguely at everything*. Hope the jellyfish are doing better than I am.
(Also since when have jellyfish had brains?)
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You and jellyfish are both planulozoans: animals with serotonin, a chemical that carries messages between nerve cells in the brain.
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Just had to check the liner notes, and yes it's unclear if he was the Minister of Sound #auspol
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there's a tweet for everything
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if Labor wins we won't know who is running the country, let alone who is Finance, Defence or Foreign Affairs Minister #lateline
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when u hear a kid might have a ministry that’s missing from ur collection
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I think sometimes I watch true crime to see somebody held accountable.
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So I'm really showing my age here, but anyone else getting notes of "Minister for Everything" in today's #AusPol bouquet?
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Is he not ... currently being *paid* to engage in day-to-day politics?
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Scott Morrison to Sky News: "No, haven't seen what he [Albanese] has said. Since leaving the job I haven't engaged in any day-to-day politics." #auspol
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you see now, we had to stop him from swearing himself in as Australian of the Year for 2022
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Maybe Scott Morrison could do something useful and take up a couple of the zillion hospo jobs going.
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If you're a man, you're allowed to smell of a bolt, a battery or a spark plug.
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Smelling like a dude exists.
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My word the iView crew are on top of it tonight. Already there!
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Tonight 7.40pm #SpicksAndSpecks twitter.com/comedy_au/stat…
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I thought the 29 club was when you started putting Rennies by your bed.
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#CapricornCoast #Yeppoon peeps! Still tickets available @ the door for meowtastic live comedy this arvo at Footlights!!
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Ask not for whom the crab phone rings. It rings for thee.
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would you answer the crab phone
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GET IN!!! Wordle 419 2/6
🟨⬛⬛🟨🟨
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
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Sometimes self care choosing not to stay up to date with the news.
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Yo, check out this reusable grocery list from the 1920s!
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McDonald's has been slapped with a wage theft claim which could be worth up to $250 million dollars.
The fast food chain is accused of denying over 250,000 employees work breaks across hundreds of its Australian stores. #9News
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Psychology Today really saying the quiet part out loud here.
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Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned… Jenny bought a full-page ad space in today’s Mackay & Whitsunday Life independent paper using her (ex?) partner’s credit card. The local paper says they’ve been inundated with messages about Page 4 and do not know who Steve is
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Man who tells his mates they “throw like a girl” writes heartfelt Facebook post about women’s sports being under attack by trans women.
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