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Jodie Marley 🔮
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Jodie Marley  🔮
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Jodie Marley  🔮

@jodie_l_marley

Maria Kaina, but nicer • PhD @UoNEnglish researching William Blake, W. B. Yeats, AE George Russell & esotericism • astrology & occult enthusiast • she/her ♊ •

Beulah
Joined July 2015

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    Jodie Marley  🔮‏ @jodie_l_marley 12 Oct 2020

    Today a certain funding body started advertising for PhD scholarship applicants. I feel the need to stress, particularly now, that if you don't get funding, your PhD is still worthwhile, and just as valid as the projects that get funding.

    4:30 AM - 12 Oct 2020
    • 22 Retweets
    • 143 Likes
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    6 replies 22 retweets 143 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. Jodie Marley  🔮‏ @jodie_l_marley 12 Oct 2020

        PhD funding is weird. One of the few things I see discussed here is that it is as much a game of luck as it is anything else. You might get rejected purely because they've already given awards to, say, three other projects like yours. Remember this: it is not personal, it doesn't

        1 reply 0 retweets 20 likes
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      3. Jodie Marley  🔮‏ @jodie_l_marley 12 Oct 2020

        reflect badly on you or your research. Rejections may come about even if you have very high grades and a perfectly outlined project. I'm compelled to write this as I had very low self esteem for year 1 of my PhD, and I want to reassure anyone who might feel now as I felt then.

        1 reply 0 retweets 16 likes
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      4. Jodie Marley  🔮‏ @jodie_l_marley 12 Oct 2020

        All but a handful of my colleagues received a particular funding award. Without the different award I DID get, I would not be here, and I'm incredibly grateful for it. However, I was constantly comparing myself to them and feeling I came up short. It was not great. In time,

        1 reply 0 retweets 14 likes
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      5. Jodie Marley  🔮‏ @jodie_l_marley 12 Oct 2020

        I got into my research, got excited about it, and found my own sense of self worth. It took a long time. I also spent time with people who I actually liked spending time with, rather than trying to fit myself in to a 'cohort'.

        1 reply 0 retweets 13 likes
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      6. Jodie Marley  🔮‏ @jodie_l_marley 12 Oct 2020

        Around the time of my first funding rejection, before I found out about winning another award, I had a reassuring chat with @jembloomfield. He called my first rejection a 'baptism of fire' and welcomed me to 'the fold'. He said it was useful to deal with rejection early because

        1 reply 0 retweets 14 likes
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      7. Jodie Marley  🔮‏ @jodie_l_marley 12 Oct 2020

        academia is so competitive, rejection is something that happens a lot. So this very early experience, difficult as it was, helped prepare me for later, and gave me no illusions as to the nature of the career I was getting into.

        1 reply 0 retweets 13 likes
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      8. Jodie Marley  🔮‏ @jodie_l_marley 12 Oct 2020

        Funding, and PhD study, reflects the larger culture of academia: it's extremely competitive, and gruelling and unrewarding if you tie your self worth to it. You, as a person, as a researcher, as a member of the community, are valid. Determine your worth on your own terms.

        1 reply 1 retweet 18 likes
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      9. Jodie Marley  🔮‏ @jodie_l_marley 12 Oct 2020

        I can ALSO reassure you that someone, somewhere, in the weird little niche that you work in, will find your project fascinating and exciting and will *get* it. It is these moments of connection that helped me in the longer run, too.

        2 replies 0 retweets 12 likes
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      10. End of conversation
      1. Veronica Layunta Maurel‏ @LayuntaMaurel 12 Oct 2020
        Replying to @jodie_l_marley

        Thank you for writing this. I didn’t get funding for my PhD (I’m still self-funding) so I totally relate.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Louis Cotgrove‏ @lefty_veggie 12 Oct 2020
        Replying to @jodie_l_marley

        Also it doesn't help that said funding body proactively tries to foster clear demarcations between award recipients and "others" linguistically and by using different admin systems etc.

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
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