Thanks, lowest rated President in HISTORY.
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Lowest rated Oscars in HISTORY. Problem is, we don’t have Stars anymore - except your President (just kidding, of course)!
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Jimmy Kimmel
@jimmykimmel
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Jimmy Kimmel’s Tweets
We mashed up ’s Bin Laden speech with ’s al-Baghdadi speech, and the results are amazing
Tonight on #Kimmel Colin Farrell #SacredDeer, #Annihilation, music from Bishop Briggs #Dream & we make young girls cry with the most popular band in the world! #BTSxJimmyKimmel
At the end of all this, let’s try to remember that the geniuses who told us not to worry about coronavirus are the same geniuses telling us not to worry about #climatechange
Billy is 3 months old & doing great. Thx for the love & support. Please remind your Congresspeople that every kid deserves the care he got
If Donald Trump gets any more embarrassing we’re gonna have to start calling him Don Jr.
He was great,charismatic & among the hardest-working athletes ever,but what impressed me most was how deeply-involved Kobe was with his 4 daughters. Pray for them, Vanessa, his parents & his fellow passengers' families on this sad and shocking day. We will never forget you Kobe
Today we showed the world that there is no MyPillow large enough to smother our democracy.
One reason Trump’s advisors are so worried he might not be able to win, is because he lost.
Trump is like a kid slowly realizing nobody’s coming to his birthday party.
OK Roy, but I'm leaving my daughters at home! P.S. - wear that cute little leather vest twitter.com/MooreSenate/st
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Sounds great Roy - let me know when you get some Christian values and I’ll be there!
thank you Jon Stewart, for making sure "never forget" isn't just a nice-sounding slogan
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"Your indifference cost these men and women their most valuable commodity: time."
Jon Stewart receives a standing ovation from 9/11 first responders after slamming lawmakers for failing to fund programs providing healthcare to the first responders abcn.ws/2Tk3IrO
You know your judgment is bad when this haircut is only the third worst decision you made this month.
I’m all for healing, but before we heal we need to make sure the surgery is finished. There’s a large cancerous tumor that still needs to be removed.
It feels good to only have to worry about a deadly pandemic now.
Go make Melania brunch.
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More Fake News, this time from Jimmy Kimmel’s last place show! twitter.com/ByronYork/stat…
Happy Cinco de Mayo Mr. President! Thanks for the shout-out - now get back to work royally fucking everything up!
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Wow! Congratulations to Greg Gutfeld, a one time Trump Hater who has come all the way home. His Ratings easily beat no talent Stephen Colbert, nice guy Jimmy Fallon, and wacko “last placer” Jimmy Kimmel. Greg built his show from scratch, and did a great job in doing so. @FoxNews
Officer? I would like to report a joke.
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.@ABC, this threat of violence against me by @jimmykimmel has been filed with the @CapitolPolice.
Trump Administration resignations are piling up. They did not see this coming. They’re Not-sees.
This is what it feels like when the "President" of the United States attacks you personally
I can think of no better metaphor for this presidency than Donald Trump not wearing a face mask to a face mask factory while the song “Live and Let Die” blares in the background.
There is more we can do, and we need to do it. Love to my hometown. #VegasStrong
The Bachelorette had a more peaceful transition of power than the Presidency
hilarious.
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Trump shouldn’t be allowed to win a state unless he can find it on a map.
Whatever you do, no matter what anyone says - do NOT get out of line. Ever. Wherever you’re currently standing, that’s your new home.
I hope the FBI finds and prosecutes the complete A-hole who hacked the President's account and tweeted this.
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Very sad that the FBI missed all of the many signals sent out by the Florida school shooter. This is not acceptable. They are spending too much time trying to prove Russian collusion with the Trump campaign - there is no collusion. Get back to the basics and make us all proud!
Twitter was a way for us to know where Trump was, like when they put a bell on a cow.
sincere thanks for the outpouring of love & support - Dr. Jane is keeping a close ear on Billy, who is very well - XO
what makes me saddest is that I know I'll never write anything funnier than #covfefe
If your election lasts more than 48 hours, seek medical attention
The families in Parkland are suffering for no good reason. We send love, sympathy and prayers tonight and DEMAND that our "leaders" do SOMETHING to stop this tomorrow. How many have to suffer before we stop looking the other way?
feeling dumb - again - for hoping more of them would do the right thing
My wife and I welcome a new baby and it is quite a story...
a man who hasn't even lost the election, claiming the election was stolen
For the same reason you’re great and Green Bay hasn’t won the Super Bowl in ten years
A yr ago today, God gave us this tough little boy. Today, we thank the nurses & doctors at & who saved his life & those who shared thoughts & prayers. We cannot stay quiet. Please wish Billy happy birthday by REGISTERING TO VOTE! vote.gov
1) Call your reps at (202) 224-3121- tell them to END the separation of families at the border (ask your Senators to pass the Keep Families Together Act and your House Rep to pass the HELP Separated Children Act).
Thanks to all who stood up and spoke out from this happy guy and his less-fortunate friends #GoodbyeGrahamCassidy
How is it possible that Alaska hasn’t finished counting? Couldn’t they just ask for a show of mittens?
this is extremely dangerous to our democracy
it would appear that was joking about carrying empty boxes for a staged publicity stunt. The full video reveals that he was carrying full boxes for a staged publicity stunt. My apologies. I know how dearly this administration values truth.
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Mike Pence caught on hot mic delivering empty boxes of PPE for a PR stunt.
Billy is 6 months old today. He's healthy, happy & we're very grateful for your prayers, wishes & support of & other hospitals
introducing... the world's dumbest person! (at :51)
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Replying to @tommyxtopher and @WeHateDarius
Jaw-dropping full report on Utah anti-mask protest.
It’s hard to believe that in just 75 years, we’ve gone from this… to this.
After four very long years it’s crazy to think that in just 18 hours Trump will be eating loaded potato skins poolside at Mar-a-Lago and Mike Pence will be off battling gays in space.
Happy 2nd birthday to our little #Easter buddy Billy. We are grateful always to the nurses and doctors at & who saved his life and all of you who prayed & sent positive thoughts our way. #HappyEaster
Ready for birth control and same sex relationships to go away too? THE CRAZY PEOPLE ARE TAKING OVER BECAUSE WE DON'T ACT!" Clarence Thomas WROTE that justices “should reconsider all of this Court’s substantive due process precedents, including Griswold, Lawrence, and Obergefell”
This is a good day for the country we love. Congratulations to & and thanks to the lifelong Republicans whose conscience would not permit this to go on. May God bless America.
Search all you want, you won't ever find it cnn.com/2017/12/14/pol
Dear thx for the trip down Man Show memory lane. The idea that YOU'd call ANYONE a “pervert” while slobbering over Trump, Ailes, O’Reilly and, YES, Roy Moore – who you DID SUPPORT is, to quote a fella you love very much, “Sad!” #nobodyissafefromKimmelspervertedwrath
Dear crazies: it is fascinating that 500 innocent people get shot and your anger is directed at me. Think about that
anytime you want to take it for a spin, it's yours
I guess his father finally hugged him....
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News: Don Jr, the president’s son, has tested positive for coronavirus. He escaped the virus when people around him got infected, including his girlfriend Kimberly, but now has it, per multiple sources.
To my friends in Dallas who are asking: I do not know whether our affiliate cut away from my monologue tonight intentionally or inadvertently but I will find out. In the meantime, here's what you didn't get to see
I guess we’re waiting to find out if this is the end of Avengers: Infinity War or Avengers: Endgame.
: Disappointing result but what a fight - thank you for making me your Bieber - you are a champion
No respect is due. Thousands of AMERICANS evacuated from their homes, many burned to the ground and our "President" points his little finger in the wrong direction to settle scores #ClimateChangeIsReal
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Mr. President, with all due respect, you are wrong. The fires in So. Cal are urban interface fires and have NOTHING to do with forest management. Come to SoCal and learn the facts & help the victims. Scott Austin, Pres IAFF 809. @IAFFNewsDesk twitter.com/realDonaldTrum…
Is ANYONE going to stop whomever hacked the President’s twitter account and keeps tweeting these moronic things??
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Just watched a very insecure Oprah Winfrey, who at one point I knew very well, interview a panel of people on 60 Minutes. The questions were biased and slanted, the facts incorrect. Hope Oprah runs so she can be exposed and defeated just like all of the others!
I am pleased to announce that the very gifted will be on #Kimmel Tuesday 1/30 after the #StateOfTheUnion. I have MANY QUESTIONS! #MAGA
What doesn’t get is that this isn’t a round of golf. You can’t just write down any score you want.
My thoughts on George Floyd, the riots in Minneapolis and 's violent stupidity... #JusticeForGeorgeFloyd #ICantBreathe
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NOTE to @JimmyKimmel: Not only would Marjorie Taylor Greene's husband make quick work of you, but @RepMTG herself would make quick work of you!
Kimmel would not last too long if he were interested in engaging in unprovoked, terrible violence against this Congresswoman.
They found the tanned ballsac Tucker Carlson was talking about.
This race is closer than Donald and Ivanka at a father-daughter dance
Will someone please tell Mike Pence that it isn't safe to kiss ass right now?
Facebook is down so asking this here:
Which livestock medication should I take for a sinus infection?
At age 7, I drew this weird portrait of Stan Lee and asked my Mom to send it to him. Thankfully she didn't because 30+ years later, I got to give it to the great one in person. Thanks for all the fun Stan #Excelsior
Are you mad about something? I feel like you're mad about something.
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A total WITCH HUNT with massive conflicts of interest!
Faith, I like your style
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This daughter had conversation with her MAGA parents... twitter.com/FirenzeMike/st
Really? 40% of us are OK with this?
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And Trump today attacked another black reporter, Abby Phillip: “What a stupid question that is,” he says to her.
Starting to feel like I might not get asked back to host this year
thanks to President for making it legal to say "Merry Christmas" in public again. I was arrested for doing it at a last year - #ThanksObama - and this is a MAJOR RELIEF!
I know the big story is the slap, but congratulations to & Regina Hall who were very funny - I hope that isn't overshadowed by the unpleasantness #Oscars
My thoughts on the shooting in #SantaFe and the politicians who refuse to do anything about it... #VoteThemOut everytown.org
Today we #WearOrange for the families who lost those they loved most to gun violence. The time to act is now. wearorange.org
