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  1. Retweeted
    8 hours ago

    Me getting an autograph (true story) Adam West: "Name?" Me: "Adam." AW: "Yes?" Me: "That's my name." AW: "Oh! I missed you at the meetings."

  2. Retweeted
    6 hours ago

    Omaha x 4! is back in the NCAA Men's College World Series for the fourth time in 11 years!

  3. Retweeted
    Jun 9

    National champion!! Congratulations Edwin Kibichiy!

  4. Jun 9

    We had pineapple pizza tonight at in his honor. It was outstanding.

  5. Jun 9

    Just saw something called "shrettuce" as an ingredient in a sandwich and now I want to set fire to every under-30 person in town.

  6. Retweeted
    19 Oct 2013

    hi, grandma? can u come pick me up from my rap battle? it's over. no, i lost. he saw u drop me off & did a pretty devastating rhyme about it

  7. Jun 9

    Hollywood needs to return to movies where a little guy steals a fat guy's ice cream cone and is chased for 81 minutes.

  8. Jun 9
  9. Retweeted
    Jun 9
  10. Jun 9
  11. Retweeted
    Jun 9

    Ever since Spatula City closed all of their brick and mortar stores I've wondered where to buy my spatulae. Wonder no more

  12. Retweeted
    Jun 9

    "I made Alex Jones laugh" is the saddest brag i've ever seen

  13. Jun 9

    . you are a true embarrassment to Kentucky and a loathsome example of a Christian.

  14. Jun 9

    Sen Grassley looked downright overwhelmed last night, but he may have just been stifling a sneeze.

  15. Jun 9

    Lifehack: If anyone starts a sentence with "I hate to be that guy..." just walk into the next room and never speak to him again.

  16. Retweeted
    Jun 9

    I want to hunt this

  17. Jun 9

    the email from Ramsey is, like Sec. Clinton's problems, proof that many smart folks over 50 have zero idea how computers or FOIA laws work.

  18. Jun 9

    She's got bigger balls than most male democrats

  19. Retweeted
    Jun 8

    sometimes I hit the jackpot

  20. Retweeted
    Jun 8

    Senator: On the topic of the President's ass, would you say it's bad? Comey: My mother taught me to point out ugly asses and it's the worst

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