bobby shawarma

@jhawkhung

Crimson '84

Joined November 2010
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  1. Retweeted
    Feb 2

    extremely suspicious that there's no information about brains that didn't come from a brain

    50 replies 5,009 retweets 12,298 likes
  2. Retweeted
    Jan 31

    doctor: what brings you here today me: my car haha doctor: (writing in chart) "not sexually active"

    35 replies 3,142 retweets 8,638 likes
  3. Retweeted
    Jan 16

    [confession] Parishoner: forgive me father for i have sinned Young Pope: *removes one earbud* what

    16 replies 134 retweets 368 likes
  4. Retweeted
    Jan 15

    Woman: forgive me father for i have sinned Young Pope: hey whoa father was my father's name call me daddy Woman: Young Pope: say it

    18 replies 161 retweets 559 likes
  5. Retweeted
    12 Jul 2014

    It was the best of times, it was the "feat. Pitbull" of times

    165 replies 11,942 retweets 20,500 likes
  6. Retweeted
    Jan 9

    Are YOU a normal person, or a lunatic that everyone is just being nice to? We'll cover that and more tonight, in your mind, around bedtime

    90 retweets 238 likes
  7. Retweeted
    27 Dec 2016

    If Trump dies in office he won’t even admit it. He’ll keep tweeting from the grave: “VERY dishonest coroner’s report says I died. Sad!”

    96 replies 5,521 retweets 11,982 likes
  8. 15 Nov 2016

    Pumped was able to remain unBILASed during this game. For some reason, honestly believes he attended Duke.

    1 retweet 2 likes
  9. 15 Nov 2016

    This is one of those games you'd rather watch on mute so you don't have to listen to . Oops, I mean

  10. Retweeted
    13 Nov 2016

    You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. Unless you’re Blair Walsh, then you pretty much miss all the ones you do take too.

    9 replies 181 retweets 492 likes
  11. 8 Nov 2016

    Let's just assume everybody voted and maybe call it quits with the "I voted" pics

    2 likes
  12. Retweeted
    6 Nov 2016

    Yes

    17 replies 1,548 retweets 1,989 likes
  13. Retweeted
    4 Nov 2016

    Me: But the green m&m is a chick and everyone wants to fuck her, even humans. Alien: I asked where your leader is Me: im getting to it

    10 replies 3,768 retweets 9,882 likes
  14. Retweeted
    9 Oct 2016

    i wrote a fake "two and a half men" script and i'm fairly certain its the only good thing ive ever done

    57 replies 2,654 retweets 8,690 likes
  15. Retweeted
    16 Sep 2016

    Me: is a W two Vs holding hands Interviewer: i meant questions about the job Me: oh sorry I: plus everyone knows it's an M doing a headstand

    19 replies 217 retweets 555 likes
  16. 1 Sep 2016

    So many dads in pleated khaki slacks, tucked in golf polos and roller bags at airport today. All of them dreaming about Labor Day grilling

    2 retweets 6 likes
  17. Retweeted
    26 Aug 2016

    Why would I keep perusing the dating site when there is this perfectly nice brick wall to slam my head against?

    1 reply 5 retweets 27 likes
  18. Retweeted
    26 Aug 2016

    every time i think i've met the perfect girl it's three raccoons in a trench coat who rob me again

    29 replies 2,222 retweets 4,292 likes

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