How I eat at How I eat at
a business lunch a buffet
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Jefferson David
@jestingjeffrey
From Missouri; he/him. All opinions and views shared here are personal and rhetorical
Saint Louis, MissouriBorn November 20Joined March 2013
Jefferson David’s Tweets
Tell me in one paragraph how you love attention roughly 5 billion times more than the woman who gave birth to you
You let that owl live freely! Let it pick leftover $20 bagels out of the trash and watch a free Shakespeare show in the summer, she’s earned it
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BREAKING## A fugitive owl is on the loose and has already evaded police capture after it escaped from the Central Park Zoo last night.
The notoriously LARGE Eurasian eagle owl is currently exploring Central Park as zoo staff observe.
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I don’t exactly hate him or think he’s bad, but ever since I worked a restaurant that played Billy Joel’s greatest hits CD on repeat every day, I cannot STAND those fucking songs. Deep cuts are fine but if I hear the opening riff to “You May Be Right” I want to punch a piano man
How do I get my dog to brush his teeth more often? Nuclear waste level bad breath and he won’t listen to me and do something about it
The Simpsons are forever!
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Argue if you want, but the worst president in American history is currently still from there, and he only got elected BECAUSE he is from there
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New York. They have far more than 1/50th of the media influence that controls every state, and it invites controversy every week based solely upon its unique, local opinions. But I love it and I will still visit there once I renew my passport twitter.com/nathaliejacoby
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I’d rather watch a show about Summer and Beth anyway… #RickandMorty
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I’m debating whether or not to send this text to my downstairs neighbor, so as I ponder the choice, I’ll just post this here and say Drew Pinson is a worthless alcoholic shitbag, and he’s the worst fucking neighbor on Earth
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You may be cool, but you'll never be as badass as B.B. King changing a broken guitar string live on stage without missing a vocal note
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How long have podcasts been around, because it’s insane how terribly EVERY podcast app is. Can’t sync with all your devices, can’t save your spot in an episode, and only 1/3 of them can handle RSS feeds. This would be like if Samsung and Sony TVs all came without HDMI ports, wtf
I don’t think “iconic” and “iconoclastic” are interchangeable
I don’t even know who died but this should be common knowledge
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My fellow white people. “Rest in Power” is for people who fought for equality/justice or who died by racial injustice/corruption. It’s not for us Consider the use of the word Power. Did your person use their power for justice and fighting for equality? Rest in peace is just fine
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Great thread, but this feels like the crux of it. The GOP is a bunch of immature toddlers, and they only stay in power because they construct these childish if/then scenarios, which shield them from any adult sense of accountability or culpability in any crimes against citizenry
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The emergence of classified files allegedly held illegally by Biden allows the media to create a "both sides" story, much like they did with HRC's emails in 2016.
This is the false equivalence pretext the DOJ has been craving to drop both cases, and that’s the end game here.
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I’m assuming this is Oxford, Mississippi because there’s no goddamn way it’s the actual Oxford that invited him to speak
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Peter Thiel, co-founder of PayPal and one of the largest individual donors in US politics, just referred to Greta Thunberg as part of the “autistic children’s brigade” in his Oxford address.
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These are MOOD RINGS respect your ELDERS
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How to tell a joke
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Sat next to his pal & colleague Jack Lemmon, WALTER MATTHAU scares the crap out of Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show in 1981 with a golden oldie ‘Toilet’ gag.
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Fine, I’m leaving
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FOR EXAMPLE why does it force you to load this extremely shady “For You” version of the TL whenever you back out/reopen this app, this entire thing collapsed in record fucking time
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The sun is setting in my tolerance for this app
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Holy fucking shit why does Auto Save fuck up your ability to track modification dates in Word, who the fuck enjoys this function
Mankind will never produce a more intellectually impotent man than
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And all because a billionaire got mad that people could see where he parked his airplane
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I’m leaving here this weekend, I need to figure out how to maybe save some tweets, but I don’t care anymore at this point. I’m tired of breathing dumpster fire fumes as I try to navigate this disaster
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Willow is my favorite show in a long time, I’m so excited to watch the finale
Look at this jerk
I was going through my tweet drafts and I wanted to resurrect a good one, but I just deleted a bunch instead. Why am I still curating this shit
I obtained surveillance footage of the self-driving Tesla that abruptly stopped on the Bay Bridge, resulting in an eight-vehicle crash that injured 9 people including a 2 yr old child just hours after Musk announced the self-driving feature.
Full story: theintercept.com/2023/01/10/tes
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Laughed out loud, I did
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niles: meet m3gan, my new robot with artificial intelligence
frasier: ah, *artificial* intelligence. so she also went to yale
The Avatars’ eyes look weird, I can’t get past it
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He is SO BIG he’s got at least 20 pounds on my dog, how did they get him in that bath stall
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Man, if you think some of those Game of Thrones episodes were too dark, wait until these Last of Us episodes start coming out. Learn where your brightness settings are on your tv
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Marine vet Lucas Kunce is now taking on Josh Hawley with this absolutely savage ad going straight for the jugular
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On January 6, 2021, Josh Hawley showed us he’s a fraud and a coward.
Missourians deserve a U.S. Senator who’s willing to stand and fight. That’s why I’ve decided to take him on.
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One of the ghosts keeps pointing to the Hasbro logo because he thinks it’s his name
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