it's almost like there's a difference between good faith and bad faith requests
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so generally in social situations we have "reasonable" and "unreasonable" expectations for deferense towards other people's behavioral preferences. what is reasonable or polite or not is of course subjective depending on the culture, so I'll speak to my own cultural context.
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calling someone by their preferred pronoun is on par with calling them by their preferred name in terms of difficulty, and so generally isn't considered a burden. this is what makes the insistence to _not_ do that sus if not offensive, at least in the modern social context.
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English Core has support for arbitrary names but does not support arbitrary pronouns. You have to apply a patch for each new pronoun you encounter. Mental overhead in tracking can vary depending on English language ability, mental ability, complexity and quantity of exceptions.
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there are also infinite names. in your memory you can just append the person's pronoun to their name, if it's that important to them. personally, I prefer the neutral "they/them" but am fine with "he/him" too, since that's what most people were trained to call people like me.
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when people talk about someone in the third person, they generally don't refer to them by name every single time. that would be an awkward way to have a conversation. pronouns are an obviously useful part of human language.
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Pronouns are useful but gendering them might be more trouble than it's worth. It's not a universal, and some languages gender different pronouns. They might have been meaningful historically, in the context of biological sex, but when anybody can be anything, they're meaningless.
I don't know why nobody calls me The Dude (my preferred pronoun). People are just rude and have no good faith anymore.
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