The craziest thing is that the terms are entirely unknown until they are disputed.
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Yup. If you want to give your significant other some comfort, transfer some assets to them, put them in your will, enter in to an ordinary business contract. Outside of some edge cases (like not testifying against you), it's total insanity to get the gov involved.
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Which is another great reason not to get married. If you stay legally separate, each of you has an individual claim against the government for resources, and any legal claims against each individual don't affect the other. You double your liability by getting married.
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