Jessica Kocemba

@jeskocemba

Joined October 2010
16 Photos and videos Photos and videos

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  1. Retweeted
    26 Dec 2012

    We only use 10% of our brains because the other 90% is busy regretting saying "You too!" to a waiter after he said "Enjoy your meal."

    16 replies 776 retweets 864 likes
  2. 28 Dec 2015

    Today is a great day to realize that you've left your winter coat at home for the holidays.

  3. 4 May 2015

    Today's sad dinner is brought to you by where i waited with all my groceries for 30 min until they announed the store was closed

    1 reply 1 retweet 1 like
  4. 30 Apr 2015

    I am so thankful that I never thought working in a hospital was a good idea.

  5. 13 Apr 2015

    I spent so much time in high school eavesdropping for the perfect ridiculous phrases. So I appreciate this

  6. 7 Apr 2015

    The great thing about Buzzfeed quizzes is they are so incredibly accurate. Who knew your favorite color defined SO MUCH of your personality.

  7. 6 Apr 2015

    C'mon, Jason Waterfalls?

  8. 3 Apr 2015

    In such a selfie obsessed world, I'm kind of surprised no one has started selling mirrors that take your picture.

  9. 3 Apr 2015

    Whoever this is, we look so similar that no one noticed, not even my brother, when I updated my profile picture

    1 reply
  10. 2 Apr 2015

    Celebrity sighting: One of the spin instructors at my gym is the voice of every spin to win arcade game I've ever played.

  11. 1 Apr 2015

    The man who just took my order for a side of fruit talks like Toki Wartooth and he stole my heart.

  12. 1 Apr 2015

    Wonderful.

  13. 31 Mar 2015

    Me: Let's go for a run My Mind: That sounds lovely My Knee: Fuck you and Fuck your day.

    1 like
  14. Retweeted
    30 Mar 2015

    "Wouldn't it be nice if we were older" no u idiot

    5 replies 97 retweets 274 likes
  15. Retweeted
    7 Dec 2014

    If I died first I'd want my husband to remarry. Real quickly, so people are like "That's sort of fucked up?" and it ruins his new marriage.

    11 replies 424 retweets 1,743 likes
  16. Retweeted
    25 Mar 2015

    People who don't eat the pizza crust: 1. Why do you do that 2. Can I have it

    178 replies 3,713 retweets 5,779 likes
  17. 24 Mar 2015

    Someone in building is certainly feeling reminiscent of their teen years. Incense for days over here.

  18. 23 Mar 2015

    noms . Find your perfect table at .

    1 like
  19. 20 Mar 2015

    22 Things To Start Doing Now That Will Improve The Rest Of Your Life via

  20. 20 Mar 2015

    If you're ever walking through a Whole Foods and thinking huh. I've never had a Kombucha before, maybe I'll try one. Don't.

    1 reply

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