MySpace Tom cashed out for $600 million and disappeared to a life of luxury without destroying the fabric of society, he really won the social media wars in the long run
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Jeremy Gordon
@jeremypgordon
Debut novel SEE FRIENDSHIP out winter 2025 // Writing (NYT, The Nation, GQ) & editing (The Atlantic) elsewhere, newsletter at jeremygordon.substack.com
Jeremy Gordon’s Tweets
Decided to stay in a Holiday Inn instead of an Airbnb for an overnight trip and strongly feel, one hour after check-in, that there has never been a more luxurious experience in all of human history
When I was 27, I decided it was time to get serious and spent six months staying in to write as my friends went out — and, ultimately, produced about 45,000 words of a shockingly mediocre novel that I eventually abandoned. With some luck and willpower, you could do the same
Grim, yes, but fascinating to watch desperate-for-clout right-wing grifters welcome Kanye into the fold, imagining he — like them — understands how to hint and suggest and dog whistle without actually saying the thing, only to be surprised when he literally says "I like Hitler"
Barry Bonds was so cool.... "I'm already the best hitter in baseball history — now, I'm going to take a bunch of drugs and become a real-life superhero, just to entertain you guys." A man of the people — a mensch, legend, king, etc.
My friend's ex is still logged in as her on his computer, and these were his recent searches
I feel totally, completely insane reading about the ongoing hollowing of public education and the teacher shortage, and then a bunch of writers who make six figures a year are like, "The most pressing issue in education is that Harvard students are rude to me"
Here's a screenshot I saved seven years ago — hard to believe Twitter was ever so pure
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Typing this at the bar (it's a suite), eating a small bag of chips I bought from the teenager at reception, newly filled up bucket of ice in front of me — the life
NBA nostalgia culture is out of control, just saw an earnest reference to "Prime Rudy Gay"
Sports are great because it's still permissible to be an unqualified hater — the arts, in my adulthood, have increasingly become a space for nuance and thoughtfulness, all of which is fine and well, but sometimes you just want to say "Look, the problem here is this guy sucks"
Time to watch The Irishman as Martin Scorsese intended — on my iPad, in 20-minute chunks in between mandated family activity over the next 4 days
There is always a mandate in cultural journalism to "correct the record," and give underappreciated art from the past its due, but here's the thing — being the biggest pop star in the world is the reward, not receiving a glowing review from some dude in Brooklyn
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Former Pitchfork writer, Tom Breihan, says the publication had a bias against Katy Perry back when ‘Teenage Dream’ dropped:
“At the time, the Pitchfork higher-ups had decided that Katy Perry was insufficiently cool… I was a grown-ass dad with an office job, writing about music… Show more
O to be seated in the Alamo Drafthouse, high as hell, begrudgingly placing an order for $18 nachos next to someone audibly muttering "woah" at the Tenet trailer...
You know who else's early branding would be considered offensive by today's standards?
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And they sell frozen pizzas 24/7 at the front desk, perfection
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He's not a politician, shrewdly toggling between ideas and positions in order to maximize his audience; he's an artist, saying what he believes with all the conviction in his soul, which once resulted in "Through the Wire" and has now ended up here
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This is the ur-advice, beyond pedantic hair-splitting about when to stay in, when to go out, who to make friends with, who to reject on sight, when to eat a cracker and when to eat a piece of pie: Sometimes you have to accept when you’ve simply fucked it
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As a culture, we've really devalued the simple, uncomplicated pleasure of being a hater
My girlfriend and I got each other eight combined jars of chili crisp, Merry Christmas
#tbt to the time a teenaged Pitchfork reader e-mailed his handwritten Logic review to the office, four years ago to the day
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Please read the blog version of this viral tweet, my industry is dying
In the Once Upon a Time in Hollywood novelization, Tarantino introduces a character by noting that "her tight pink t-shirt covered two large bouncing boobs," and a few lines later calls her "a big-boobed blonde." At the end of the chapter, we learn this is Sharon Tate
The Weeknd is probably the most influential artist of the decade -- not musically, but because he mainstreamed the whole "I'm a giant dirtbag.... but I'm also sad sometimes" affect that became like every third twenty-something's personality
Amazing to consider the Oscars have contorted themselves for a decade because of blowback for not nominating THE DARK KNIGHT, which is respectfully one of the dumbest movies to ever be taken ultra seriously by people
Go further... every episode could be prefaced with a title card that reads "Several scenes are meant to provide an ironic contrast between the world of the 1960s and the present. Nearly all of these characters are, in fact, terrible people"
Amazing footnote in this Odell Beckham Jr. interview gq.com/story/odell-be
Halsey accidentally calling for another 9/11 because she got mad at a technically positive Pitchfork review... just a perfect moment in time
Fascinating how Paquin's silence in The Irishman was incredibly textually obvious (the movie is told from Frank's POV, he alienated/ignored his kids, people with consciences have no room in Gangsterland, etc.) and yet completely ignored by those only interested in scoring points
This Onion goof on Democrat vs. Republican messaging has stuck with me for 15 years
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Getting some serious replies to this, but please.... don't....
I read this headline like it's the name of his Patreon
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Ice Cube is posting anti-Semitic memes and conspiracy theories on Twitter insider.com/ice-cube-share via @thisisinsider
It's been five years and one day since Lou Reed died, and five years since Lou Bega gave this statement
When I was growing up, music media presented Eric Clapton as a generational genius and Fleetwood Mac as coked-out dilettantes; now, Clapton's star has dropped harder than any other classic rock icon, and Fleetwood Mac are rightfully recognized as coked-out geniuses
[pensively, essayistically] It was the summer of Four Loko and Sleigh Bells... I made half-dozen of the worst decisions of my life in a 6-week period... nobody had been 21 years old like that before or since
Quitting your band because you think the new stuff is trash is a power play I respect!
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Scurvy killed millions of people before someone figured out you just had to eat some oranges
God is dead, and we have killed him
I just discovered this GIF of teen LeBron proudly showing off his flip phone photo of Stone Cold Steve Austin
GIF
If you can't handle me at my Bradley Cooper screaming for the Eagles at the Super Bowl you don't deserve me at my Bradley Cooper politely cheering Roger Federer at Wimbledon
Triple H's entrance paying homage to MAD MAX: FURY ROAD is a deeply meta creative choice because his mother-in-law Linda McMahon is directly complicit in an administration that's working to bring about a massive ecological collapse; in this essay, I will
When I was listening to this medley of songs about being super depressed from your addiction to cocaine and casual sex every day at my hipster Brooklyn coffee shop in 2011, I did not once think "this is the energy the Super Bowl needs"
One holiday tradition I will miss is the boss giving a drunk speech about how excited he is to be here in this room full of such talented people, and how the next year will be bigger than ever, and then four days later the company gets sold
Mildly sick of watching my peers and friends get routinely laid off by a company that pivots every 2-3 years based on the size of the investment it thinks it's about to get, and sells the promise of a new job to a labor pool that has fewer options every year
It's the six-year anniversary of Yeezus, a record so brilliant it tricked people into thinking The Life of Pablo was great *three years later*
Every day a YouTuber I've never heard of with 11 million subscribers issues an ultra-terse statement like, "Some of you have pointed out my 2014 video, 'I Hit the Quan in Blackface' was deeply offensive. I am taking inventory of my actions, and will continue my personal journey."
A friend revealed her Zoomer pal is throwing a party where the theme is 2012, and we’re piecing together what happened that year — so far I’ve got Hurricane Sandy, Grimes releasing “Visions,” Benghazi
Experienced the pitfalls of Zoom-based teaching yesterday when I talked to an 8th grade class about writing, and one student accidentally copy-pasted "EAT BOOTYHOLE LIKE TACOS" into the chat instead of the question he meant to ask
Lil Nas X held off the entire industry illuminati from hittting No. 1 and prevented this craven shit, what a true hero thedailybeast.com/lil-nas-x-shut
Just read a one-star review of My Brilliant Friend that accused the male characters of displaying toxic masculinity
I talked to Kevin Shields about the future of My Bloody Valentine for
All millennials have had to ask themselves how early/fast they were willing to grind in order to achieve professional/personal stability in an increasingly unstable world, and we all know the type of person who forwent any fun stuff so they could "succeed," and they all sucked
There are a lot of reasons why COVID is a disaster in America -- our shoddy health care, our arrogantly individual character, and so on -- but it's also as simple as the single worst man alive consciously bungling our best chance to stop this
So many great memes have come and gone since the last Vampire Weekend album, so many ways of expressing my excitement for the new one. Gonna go with this
If you play "The Boys Are Back in Town" at exactly 11:59:12 on New Year's Eve, the first "the boys are back in town" will play at exactly midnight. Start off your new year right.
Bob Dylan is trending because a content-farming account screenshotted Rolling Stone's list of the 100 Greatest Singers from *2008*, thereby sparking an angry debate about how high Dylan is ranked. Very cool
Half of Yo La Tengo's songs are "making hot cocoa and snuggling by the fire :) :)" and half are "it's time to fistfight God"
They made an entire Oscar-nominated movie about how Mark Zuckerberg is a weird loser who sucks
Since November, the person I've talked with the most out loud, besides my girlfriend and my mother, is Dave Grohl — I profiled Foo Fighters for the New York Times
Human context is everything in the arts. You learn Eddie Hazel was picturing his dead mom on "Maggot Brain," or that Blackstar was the final statement of a dying man, and the work intensifies. It's very lame that AI proselytizers think "I told my PC to be sad" could replace this
I know it's been a crazy few months but do you remember when Mario Batali apologized for sexual harassment by including a recipe for cinnamon rolls
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Valorize Rudy Gay all you want — I've written thousands of words about the 2004-2009 Chicago Bulls, I get it, but if I ever say "prime Kirk Hinrich" I'll have really lost it
Kanye morphed so quickly into his generation's Billy Corgan I didn't even have time to write a think piece about it
Working at The Outline was the best time I ever had, and I am infinitely grateful for anyone who ever read and enjoyed it. I'm going to go pine for that nostalgic time of 60 minutes ago when the new Drake song was the worst part of my morning twitter.com/leahfinnegan/s
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Charlie Watts lived a great long life but it is overwhelming to think about the death of a key witness to nearly the entire lifespan of rock n' roll as a popular art form — there are many who follow it, some who study it, and a few who lived inside it, and now one of them is gone
The last line is actually very fitting, as Mad TV's most popular character was a white woman imitating an Asian woman twitter.com/Shanemgillis/s
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I have two jobs: by day, I'm a writer-editor at an online publication; by night (and also by day) I tweet "shut up bitch" at Democratic politicians
If you'd like to concurrently keep tabs on the cognitive breakdown of 30-1,000 strangers, this website is really unparalleled
I understand why Bon Iver endures as the easily dunkable avatar for every sad sack, sad boy, mopey whiny "tfw ur up in the woods and down on ur mind" indie putrefaction, but here's the thing — sometimes it's like that
Zoomers will never know what it used to be like — saying the exact same thing to an anonymous bike messenger in your apartment who'd stare at you for five seconds before saying "So we've got this sativa"
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As someone who did not attend an Ivy League college, I harbor a tremendous amount of irritation at how much discourse about the Ivies I've passively consumed just by trying to live my little life.... you're all monsters!
My favorite bar in Chicago makes an appearance in the new season of The Bear. On the one hand, it's a great opportunity to gin up new business, and raise awareness of a place that temporarily closed during the pandemic. On the other, this is the worst thing I've ever imagined
Congrats to your boyfriend for retweeting Kanye but adding some arch commentary
Meanwhile the heat index in Chicago sits at 105 and Pitchfork Music Festival is still going, because the city knows the millennial dream is to literally die while watching Haim
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BREAKING: @NYCMayor announces that @OZYfest will be canceled due to the heat emergency. twitter.com/NYCMayor/statu…
Michael Jordan could've broken the points record but he was more interested in being a degenerate alcoholic gambler who never lost in the Finals. That's why he's the GOAT
I always thought it was too bad THE SHAPE OF WATER was got reduced to "the movie where a lady fucks a fish" but I guess that's what happens when a lady fucks a fish in your movie
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You could conclude that a stunning number of people appear to interact with art solely to affirm ideas/beliefs they had going in, and that a stunning amount of cultural energy is now spent on pedantically accommodating them — but that might be cynical
This means your editor isn't good 😈
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yeah sex is cool but have you ever had an editor say "This looks great! I don't really have any edits"
Blake Bortles sounds like the name of a YouTuber forced to apologize for doing the Harlem Shake in the Vatican
Sometimes I think I could forget about Chance the Rapper successfully pressuring an outlet to kill a negative review but then he BUYS a PUBLICATION what kind of RIVERDALE shit is THAT
"Alright, man" is the most honest response to like 90% of what gets talked about on here
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Imagine going to college, and there's a box on every other corner that contains a 50+ page publication with original art and writing that summarizes the culture and counterculture of the day, and it comes out every week. We really did used to live in a society.
I don't want to be a reactionary but I think I draw the line at "comes out as sapiosexual"
