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jeremynewberger's profile
JeremyNewberger
JeremyNewberger
JeremyNewberger
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@jeremynewberger

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JeremyNewbergerVerified account

@jeremynewberger

Political Satirist. Jewish Filmmaker. Chief Quarantine Correspondent. I ❤️ you people.

United States
imdb.com/name/nm1015339…
Joined December 2008

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    JeremyNewberger‏Verified account @jeremynewberger 6 Feb 2018

    MATT LAUER: Welcome back to the Trump Millitary parade. I'm Matt Lauer with cohost Lana Trump for Trump TV. LARA TRUMP: Lara. MATT LAUER: Whatever. Coming down Pennsylvania Ave is the US Army Fife and drum corps with honorary parade delegate Scott Baio. LARA TRUMP: Love him!

    6:51 PM - 6 Feb 2018
    • 2,167 Retweets
    • 6,087 Likes
    • Jedi😷Slasher #BLM ✊🏿 Joey Mancusi Anthony Zabala raouelduke79 Canis Vexillum The Letter D Emoji Dennis Moon jovi John Murdock
    208 replies 2,167 retweets 6,087 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. JeremyNewberger‏Verified account @jeremynewberger 6 Feb 2018

        MATT LAUER: Interesting fact, President Trump was actually in the Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marines. LARA TRUMP: Wow! MATT LAUER: You know how some celebs get an EGOT, Trump has a ANAM. LARA TRUMP: Look a balloon! MATT LAUER: I believe that's parade delegate Gov. Mike Huckabee.

        16 replies 180 retweets 1,386 likes
        Show this thread
      3. JeremyNewberger‏Verified account @jeremynewberger 6 Feb 2018

        MATT LAUER: Next up is a group of soldiers carrying former Trump Advisor Seb Gorka in an ancient Egypt Litter. LARA TRUMP: He is so great! MATT LAUER: Little known fact, Seb Gorka is a brilliant military strategist, ever since he got his PhD at the Cap'n Crunch Military Academy.

        13 replies 175 retweets 1,331 likes
        Show this thread
      4. JeremyNewberger‏Verified account @jeremynewberger 6 Feb 2018

        MATT LAUER: And now folks I believe President Trump will come down that makeshift escalator, take a golf cart over to a platform, sit in an electric chair lift, and hoist up to the top of that diamond covered elephant looking onto the parade route. LARA TRUMP: He's so energetic.

        13 replies 192 retweets 1,293 likes
        Show this thread
      5. JeremyNewberger‏Verified account @jeremynewberger 6 Feb 2018

        MATT LAUER: That song we hear from the Navy Marching Band is actually Lee Greenwood's God Bless the U.S.A., but played backwards, as the White House chose not to pay the royalties. LARA TRUMP: It's still beautiful. MATT LAUER: Indeed.

        9 replies 145 retweets 1,092 likes
        Show this thread
      6. JeremyNewberger‏Verified account @jeremynewberger 6 Feb 2018

        MATT LAUER: Oh folks this is a treat, by horseback are some trusted Trump advisors, VP Mike Pence on a white horse, Fox News Sean Hannity on a red horse, Rep Devin Nunes on a black horse, and Newt Gingrich on a pale horse. LARA TRUMP: Eric! MATT LAUER: No that's a horse Lara.

        18 replies 244 retweets 1,543 likes
        Show this thread
      7. JeremyNewberger‏Verified account @jeremynewberger 6 Feb 2018

        BRIT HUME: We have some breaking news Matt. MATT LAUER: What is it Brit? BRIT HUME: A woman on the parade route made an obscene gesture, a slight frown, but she was been dragged away from the parade route. I hear the President was never in serious danger. MATT LAUER: Some people.

        7 replies 161 retweets 1,188 likes
        Show this thread
      8. JeremyNewberger‏Verified account @jeremynewberger 6 Feb 2018

        MATT LAUER: As these beautiful F-16s fighters go by I want to direct your attention to the detail put into this parade. On the nose of each jet fuselage is a nude pin-up artistic rendering of Ivanka Trump. LARA TRUMP: Mom! MATT LAUER: Commissioned by the President himself.

        7 replies 141 retweets 956 likes
        Show this thread
      9. JeremyNewberger‏Verified account @jeremynewberger 6 Feb 2018

        MATT LAUER: Over 10,000 volunteers prepared this Trump Military Parade. When they began they were actually paid employees, but then the gov't shut down so they became volunteers. LARA TRUMP: America! MATT LAUER: This parade cost $2 trillion dollars, and Mexico is paying for it.

        6 replies 142 retweets 999 likes
        Show this thread
      10. JeremyNewberger‏Verified account @jeremynewberger 6 Feb 2018

        MATT LAUER: Joining us in the booth is none other than Trump's top Counselor, Kellyanne Conway. That's a terrific costume you're wearing. Revolutionary war? KELLYANNE CONWAY: I'm not wearing a costume Matt. This is an outfit I got at a Filene's Basement sample sale.

        10 replies 119 retweets 901 likes
        Show this thread
      11. JeremyNewberger‏Verified account @jeremynewberger 6 Feb 2018

        MATT LAUER: This next group marching by, I am not sure which division of the armed forces they represent, but their sign reads White Knights. They are carrying tiki torches. LARA TRUMP: Patriots! MATT LAUER: We go now to AL ROKER. What's that? We lost AL?

        8 replies 186 retweets 1,102 likes
        Show this thread
      12. JeremyNewberger‏Verified account @jeremynewberger 6 Feb 2018

        MATT LAUER: And now the cast of the new hit Broadway Show MNUCHIN will perform their opening number MONEY WALLPAPER. Book and lyrics by Kid Rock. Let's listen in.

        4 replies 125 retweets 901 likes
        Show this thread
      13. JeremyNewberger‏Verified account @jeremynewberger 6 Feb 2018

        MATT LAUER: Interesting alternate fact, the missiles you see are actual nukes controlled by President Trump, and I'm told they're bigger in girth and length, than every other military regime. LARA TRUMP: So big! MATT LAUER: Plus they are all pointed towards Chappaqua, NY.

        5 replies 123 retweets 903 likes
        Show this thread
      14. JeremyNewberger‏Verified account @jeremynewberger 6 Feb 2018

        MATT LAUER: Programming note. Immediately following the Trump Military Parade, Joel Osteen, Jerry Falwell Jr., Franklin Graham, Tony Perkins, and Gloria Copeland will host a celebratory prayer service where you can actually touch one of Trump's nuke, for a small fee.

        11 replies 174 retweets 972 likes
        Show this thread
      15. JeremyNewberger‏Verified account @jeremynewberger 6 Feb 2018

        MATT LAUER: Ladies and gentlemen, we have in our booth right now, President Trump's Hologram. TRUMP HOLOGRAM: Nuke the Muslims! LARA TRUMP: Daddy! TRUMP HOLOGRAM: Just kidding. MATT LAUER: So lifelike. TRUMP HOLOGRAM: Should we?

        5 replies 112 retweets 817 likes
        Show this thread
      16. JeremyNewberger‏Verified account @jeremynewberger 6 Feb 2018

        MATT LAUER: Thanks for joining us for the Trump Military Parade. The largest military parade in the history of parades, the military, and history itself. I'm off now to a dungeon party at Bill O'Reilly's Oyster Bay swing pad. Thanks for joining us. Come Lara. You like leather?

        90 replies 187 retweets 1,286 likes
        Show this thread
      17. End of conversation

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