my instagram feed this morning is just a wall of white people posting black screens. like... that isn't muting yourself, babe, that's actually kind of the opposite! it's taking up an absolutely WILD amount of space and does nothing! a few thoughts on this:
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Jeanna Kadlec
@jeannakadlec
HERETIC: A MEMOIR (). writer; also an astrologer. ex-evangelical. Iowa raised. gay AF. she/her. jeannakadlec.substack.com
Jeanna Kadlec’s Tweets
the oldest millennials are 40. the youngest millennials are 25. these op-ed columnists need to get a fucking grip and stop trying to create generational wars to cover up for systemic institutional and governmental failure.
help, one of my best friends just asked her 2yo “can you be gentle with yourself please?” and my inner child exploded
THE CAPTAINS OF THE US AND CANADIAN WOMENS HOCKEY TEAMS GOT MARRIED THIS IS BASICALLY WORLD PEACE
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seeing a lot of posts about the queers who died of AIDS “so we could have Pride” and can we please remember that framing is important; they did not sacrifice their lives for a cause, they died of an epidemic that became a genocide due to government neglect
ok listen i’m usually not into celebrity divorces but gisele is very publicly a witch so best believe i am on the edge of my seat to see how this turns out
when i was a kid, i used to dream about having one best-best-best friend who i did everything in life with and who i lived with and had pets with and then i got older and realized that my closeted gay childhood self wanted a girlfriend
end of year decluttering checklist:
- clean your room (WASH YOUR SHEETS)
- clean your closet (be ruthless)
- clean your phone (delete apps + exes)
- clean social media profiles (unfollow + unfriend without guilt!)
- reorganize your bookshelf/makeup/whatever accumulates
why are car companies making better lesbian movies than hollywood twitter.com/davidmackau/st
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do you have a celeb doppelgänger and if so what’s your fave gif I’ll go first
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there are two men in carhartt jackets and steel toe boots sitting across the aisle from each other on the train and they keep playfully kicking each others’ boots and this is the most homoerotic working class Bruce Springsteen song I have ever witnessed in real time
realtor: well couldn't you just ask your parents to sign for you
me: do you think my parents make 80x the rent? they don't have that kind of money.
realtor: ~stunned~
so when michael phelps blows through every preconceived notion of what a swimmer can do, it's exciting for the sport, but when simone biles does it for gymnasts, it's threatening? guess we don't have to think too hard about why.
okay just a casual reminder for all the folks who have never worked in marketing: if you RT someone (the guy getting impeached, that one author), it boosts their algorithm; if you screenshot them, otoh, you can still comment on their shit AND you aren’t helping them out
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watching my best friends parent their children so lovingly is, weirdly, so healing
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Organizers have said that the black screens are not a BLM initiative and that matters. It matters because white people are needed as active participants in uprisings that actively dismantle white supremacy. A hashtag that encourages white silence is the opposite of that.
casual reminder that the five love languages were invented by gary chapman, a christian psychologist who is also a senior pastor, and were specifically designed to reinforce patriarchal gender norms
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This #BlackoutTuesday initiative is a blatant pacification tactic for white discomfort, especially white women's. It's a way to let us off the hook. Today, you get to shut up. Y'all, I grew up in the church! White women are GREAT at shutting up. We need to start SHOWING up.
last night a baby butch asked me if i preferred femmes and in that moment i realized that these days, my only type is people who have been to therapy
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Yes, uplift Black voices.
Yes, support Black creators.
Yes, use your platform to help your followers discover Black & POC-owned businesses they might otherwise not be exposed to.
Yes to ALL of that.
AND ALSO.
Use your voice to confront white supremacy with your people.
one of my friends has an all-lesbian book club that i have not been invited to for several years running now because the rule is that you can't date anyone in book club and apparently i can't be trusted
that woman's "i've never been sexually assaulted at a drag show but i have been assaulted at church" speech, like... felt that in my BONES
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can y’all imagine if some of our parents had ever asked us that question // had had that question asked to them
i’m an astrologer and i don’t “believe in” astrology; it’s not a religion
listen I love indie bookstores as much as the next writer but I also think too many folks forget that for many of us who grew up super rural, who had to make a long drive to the nearest city with a shopping mall, chain bookstores like barnes & noble *were* our local bookstores
homosexuality
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If you had a codependent female friendship blow up in your 20s, what do you think the root issue was?
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she made TRAVEL ALTARS for HIS GAMES that HE (!!!) talked about in interviews! like!
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Can we unpack the concept of "muting yourself"? Particularly the white women, for whom conflict - especially conflict with white men - is coded as "bad" femininity (yes, even for my queer women & femmes!).
"Muting yourself" is a way for the state to redirect your anger.
it is the rule of twitter: any time the tom holland umbrella performance crosses the timeline, you must stop everything you are doing and watch it in its entirety, and it shall cleanse your soul and reset your mind
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there is no heterosexual explanation for the number of baths xena and gabrielle took together
general PSA reminder to literally everyone that the vast majority of nonfiction books are not fact checked unless the author pays for it out of pocket
anyway just a casual reminder that “queer” isn’t just who you fuck, it’s your mindset and how you organize your life, deconstruct ingrained societal and systemic bullshit, prioritize community, and a bunch of other stuff
so my girlfriend's evangelical mom refuses to acknowledge that i am, in fact, her girlfriend BUT is so WASPy that she still sent me a gift
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We are all learning. But I would encourage folks to do their due diligence. Part of the work of learning/reflecting is considering the context of the moment. Who does this action help or hinder? Who does it center? How does this particular trend fit into a police state?
OH MY GOD WHITE PEOPLE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP RETWEETING POLICE TAKING A KNEE! THOSE SAME OFFICERS GET VIOLENT LIKE AN HOUR LATER. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, CLOCK A PROPAGANDA TACTIC WHEN YOU SEE IT.
*stares at camera*
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Finland’s two-year test of universal basic income concluded that it doesn't seem to disincentivise working, and benefits recipients’ mental and financial wellbeing bit.ly/32k19J8
no being gay isn’t all about queer kinky sex but I didn’t leave a straight marriage and christianity and go to years of therapy processing all of that internalized shame to NOT scream about how epic sex with women is so kindly fuck the fuck off
ten years ago today i was an evangelical christian who thought i was straight! and getting married to a man! and now i'm very much a witchy femme lesbian living in brooklyn writing a book about the whole goddamn thing (and also deeply in love), happy anniversary to meeeee
**three
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There are two types of lesbians
*whispers* the US supports israel for many reasons, not the least of which is because of evangelical christianity's antisemitic belief in israel's statehood being an essential prophetic fulfillment for the second coming of jesus christ and the rapture of the church
“vegan leather” (aka pleather) is one of the most genius marketing moves of the last few years, especially bc it capitalizes on the wellness connotations of “vegan” and completely elides that pleather is often made of environmentally harmful plastic-based materials
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Wheennnnnn did pleather get rebranded as vegan leather. Like, who decided this?
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one of my favorite things to do, honestly, is tell realtors who get nervous about us being self-employed freelancers and who start spiraling out about how our parents need to co-sign as guarantors THAT OUR PARENTS EVEN IF WE WERE SPEAKING TO THEM ARE POOR
help
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as someone who was WFH before this year and fought so hard to be WFH and was so emotionally nourished by the freedom of it... I have so many feelings about how this year is absolutely —not— WFH, it is the antithesis of that
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apartment hunting in new york city, ladies and gentlefolk!
when people mispronounce words, it’s because they learned that word when they were reading
don’t be an asshole
today would be my ninth wedding anniversary if i hadn't come out and divorced my husband! please congratulate me on my escape from heterosexuality.
Six years ago today, I filed for divorce from my then-husband, moved out, and began the process of starting over. I was focused on survival, not thriving. I had no idea how rich and fulfilling life would become.
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO ME! ✨
Everyone on the fence about posting an end of year work thread because folks out here want to dunk on self-promotion: do it. My 2018 end of year list is what prompted my now-agent to reach out to me and ask if I had a book.
Fucking promote your work.
it is a serious thing / just to be alive / on this fresh morning / in this broken world.
- mary oliver
HAPPY PRIDE also to my beloved bisexuals ESPECIALLY those of you who are partnered with men, you are worthy and beloved and valued and needed members of the community and I will personally kick anyone’s ass who tells you otherwise
oh also in case you need more good news today, my best friend and I finally figured out that we had FEELINGS for each other so, you know, QUEER JOY ALL AROUND
if twitter is your favorite social media, you actively miss livejournal
a thousand miles is 100% about a girl
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VANESSA CARLTON IS BISEXUAL?
I really hate to break it to y’all but the Midwest, South, and Mountain West are (brace yourselves) *not* monolithically conservative. Democrats live there. POC live there. Immigrants live there. LGBTQ+ folks live there!
I KNOW! Mind blowing, right?!
i just so hate how much so many astrologers rely on capitalist aspirationalism to describe capricorn
a lot of writing is actually just learning to sit with yourself but nobody ever wants to talk about that
millennials over here witnessing another writers' strike and impending death of quality media the same way we witnessed another recession like
taylor isn't for everyone! adele isn't for everyone! that's okay; different aesthetic tastes make the world go 'round! but dunking on people for feeling uplifted and excited about something in a fuck-all year is a hell of a choice! is all i'm going to say!
"Before Kristen Stewart slapped her own ass with a riding crop, Lucy Liu publicly caned an in-drag Drew Barrymore."
My latest, for .
this year, gemini season comes with a mercury retrograde in gemini, eclipses in gemini & its opposite sign of sagittarius, & jupiter squaring gemini by sign in its own domicile of pisces — we are in for a fucking RIDE, and i'm pretty sure gemini wouldn't have it any other way
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meg and i moved in together last summer. the irony is that, as bad as the market still is, apartments are actually a lot cheaper this year than they were last year. we are going to be able to get more for less.
got out of a lyft on the way to the #dykemarch and was immediately confronted by a woman on the sidewalk with “YOU KNOW YOUR BRA IS SHOWING?!” like, yes, that’s the fucking point of this look, you heterosexual
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i practice astrology. i find observing cyclical patterns in nature and the cosmos useful. you may not; that’s okay! no one here is proselytizing.
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Also I hope all the men following me know that I’m a misandrist dyke who will never follow them back
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happy pride to all the bi folks out there who are married to cishet men, you are seen & loved
xoxo,
your neighborhood twitter lesbian
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the love languages can be a useful starting place, absolutely, but too many folks are not familiar with their PROFOUNDLY evangelical origins and purpose
there is truly nothing i enjoy more than "cool jesus" christians who get so offended by the idea that the church could POSSIBLY have harmed anyone; you just haven't met cool jesus yet!
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letters from our CPAs. letters from former landlords. bank statements with more money than i've ever had in my life.
none of it is enough. housing in this city is broken, and i'm STILL one of the lucky ones. i don't know how folks do it.
I wish for you all the queer joy in 2021, and also all the queer sex
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but, bc for self-employed freelancers and creatives who are apartment hunting in NYC (and who don't have a spouse/roommates with that coveted employer letter), it's like running the fucking american ninja warrior course
it is beyond enraging that cannot be bothered to increase employee salaries by $1m but almost assuredly paid far more for a book that will likely be ghost written by a far right politician whose hobbies include… banning books
the first chunk of my book advance arrived today and it is more money than i have ever had in my life and it is terrifying. when i tell you that working class brain never goes away!
i am so behind on everything in my life, shoutout to everyone else who is behind on everything in their lives who is thinking about using the weekend to catch up but really just wants to crawl into bed tonight and not come out until monday!
not quite sure how to articulate this, but when i see folks dissecting books as somehow "not queer enough" bc the author is queer, but the book doesn't explicitly ~focus~ on sexuality or coming out, it really fucking grates. queer authors get to write about other things!
my loves. i have wine. i have chocolate. i have gone for a walk. i have cleaned my apartment. the candles are lit.
it is time for a gay live tweet of portrait of a lady on fire.
extremely not into teachers and professors sharing their students’ work on Twitter; like, just from an ethical perspective, are you fucking kidding me
so, courtesy of our dad, my sister and i both have a hearty streak of prepper/"always have a go-bag ready" mentality
here's a non-exhaustive list of everything i currently have in my go-bag (and, more generally, in my apartment) for disaster preparedness:
if you have not yet had the pleasure of reading roland barthes' "the death of the author," today is a wonderful day to do so
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like, last year our income exceeded the requirement for our apartment, and we've both lived here for years and have letters of rec from former landlords, but because the building was ~nervous~ about our ~self-employment~, we still had to sign with a guarantor service
happy birthday to noted bisexual frida kahlo, who romanced josephine baker and chavela vargas. an icon, an inspiration, and a fucking brilliant artist.
this applies to tops only; bottoms & switches played the clarinet
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Fact: the most lesbian instrument is the saxophone