I've been thinking about the criticism of Quinn and her "friendship" with white supremacists. Her desire to reach them and redeem them resonates with me. She never argues against punching Nazis, just that talking might help make fewer Nazis, too.
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And I wouldn't exactly call them friends, but if I don't walk a line with them, trying to reach them and show a different path to meaning and validation, then, to them, I becom one of "them", another person to write off and be used as justification for their hate.
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Yes, white supremacy and incel and MRA and PUA &c are corrosive, violent, despicable communities, but unless there is a path to redemption, the in-group think is strengthened.
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Part of reconstructing masculinity is building faith that we are enough, without violence, dominance, strength, victory, memorials, statues, Great Men, recognition.
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And a step on that path is to say "I know you feel weak and hollow and meaningless, and desperate for acceptance, and here is how to find that within yourself"
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I don't think the harm will stop until they find that meaning. And I thank every parent who raises a boy who understands that building things together is more important than who gets the credit.
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End of conversation
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