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Looking forward to this problem taking care of itself.https://twitter.com/Jezebel/status/1024519856312467456 …
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Vote Dem 2020: let RBG retire
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USA: [collectively holds breath in the hope that John Bolton is about to stand on principle and do the right thing] BOLTON: lol guess again
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If the president is too stupid or crazy to be responsible for his actions then he’s also too stupid or crazy to be president
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HILLARY CLINTON: [gets pneumonia] PRESS: iS tHiS tHe eNd FoR cLiNtOn?? TRUMP: [is rushed to the hospital and lies about it] PRESS: probably nothing
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GOP: ok but he didn’t say Simon Says quid pro quo
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“Jim Jordan must be smart because he shouts a lot” is a pretty good encapsulation of the GOP’s worldview
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Hi did someone order pizzazz
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There isn’t a bus long enough to fit all these people under it
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NUNES: I am sorry to say you will be smeared today - SONDLAND: the president did a crime NUNES: - by me
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Winning an election gives you a chance to lead a country, not immunity from consequences
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Jim Jordan is outraged that someone would witness a crime and report it
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WITNESSES: Trump abused his power to fix the 2020 election GOP: I guess the only way to solve this is through an election in 2020
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Just a routine Phase One Physical where they rush you to the hospital to check your excellent cholesterol
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Looking forward to watching Trump testify while I read his audited tax returns
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| ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄| | | | | | | | Pence too | | _______| (\__/) || (•ㅅ•)|| / づ
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If Biden or Warren went for a sudden surprise physical the press would’ve dug their grave before they left the hospital
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Lots of pizzazz today
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Police arrive to find a man pointing a smoking gun at a dead person. Witnesses confirm the man bought the gun, tracked the victim, and committed the murder. Security footage shows the man in the act. The man says murder is good. LINDSEY GRAHAM: ok but who called the cops
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