Jack Thomas

@jdawgthomas

Joined January 2012
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  1. Jun 1

    One of the most short-sighted, irresponsible and selfish decisions. Nice one Trump, you blithering idiot.

    1 reply 1 retweet
  2. May 18

    Spend a few months acclimatising and then they hit me with this. Sunny? Warm? Can't cope. Hopefully it won't last.

  3. Apr 3

    outrageously good television. Gonna crawl into a dark corner now and recover

    2 likes
  4. Apr 2

    Clubs with free barista espressos. Of course you do,

    1 like
  5. Mar 30

    Last night a 50+yr old woman complimented me on my nose. She was either a) taking the piss b) delusional/insane c) the ONE Option c) it is

    1 reply 2 likes
  6. Mar 13

    This just blows my wee mind. Why can't humans just be normal?

  7. Mar 12

    Trump was right. Sweden needs to take a long hard look in the mirror when they have chocolate bars called 'PLOPP'

  8. Feb 8

    Does anyone else fold their toilet paper into a triangle to make if feel like they're in a hotel and on holiday? No? Just me then.

  9. Jan 13

    Targeted advertising at its best. I am actually in the market for some yellow corn grit..

  10. Jan 9

    Sat in the depths of Volvo HQ and they're blasting out Abba on the radio in the test cell. All the stars have aligned.

  11. 30 Dec 2016

    Just bought an electric toothbrush. Does that mean I've got my shit together? No. No it doesn't.

  12. 10 Dec 2016

    Tru dat

    1 reply
  13. 9 Dec 2016

    Busy day for the Office for National Statistics..

    1 retweet 2 likes
  14. 16 Oct 2016

    Not sure why my phone wants to correct 'bae' to 'A WHORE'. Apple knows me too well..

    1 like
  15. 16 Oct 2016

    “Grab them by the p---y,” Trump says. “You can do anything.” Not sure that goes down well in the cat community, you dawg.

  16. 8 Oct 2016

    Cameron Diaz in the Mask is still probably the most beautiful thing in the world. Ever. Think she screwed up my view on women forever.

  17. 20 Sep 2016

    I wonder why there's a lack of engineers coming through in the UK 🤔

  18. 21 Aug 2016

    "You are here" Huh? ...In life?

    16 likes
  19. 19 Aug 2016

    Had so many injections recently I feel like the shittest marvel superhero ever. 'VACCINATION MAN and the Battle of the Pathogens' 👨🏻

    1 like
  20. 15 Aug 2016

    So good. Give this man a Mercedes.

    😂😂😂 calling bullshit on that

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